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Since we’re all impatiently awaiting Herman Cain’s important announcement today, we decided to figure out possible public relations strategies for Cain to get back into the good graces of the American public.
Cain has a background in managing a fast food chain and a penchant for talking big, so we think he should team up with Epic Meal Time’s Harley Morenstein and start giving away ultimate Epic Meal Time Pizzas instead of campaign buttons.
The pizza is made by topping a pizza with a McDonald’s Big Mac, KFC’s popcorn chicken, a Wendy’s Baconator, a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell, and onion rings from A&W. Then it’s topped with extra cheese and baked for 12 minutes. The result? A fabulous 5,210 calorie, 286 grams of fat meal fit for a king (or a President).
We think that this is a great way for Cain to win his way back into the hearts of American voters. Just think — each pizza can feed an entire neighborhood for a week, ending inner city hunger, and all those fast food restaurants that will have to churn out nuggets and burgers nonstop would solve the unemployment crisis.
We think this is the boost Cain needs to re-energize his campaign. Forget about the Republican party — we want a pizza party!
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