Now everyone is remembering a middling Billy Joel hit called "I Go to Extremes" because Lindsay Lohan tattooed some of its lyrics on her torso. (She's apparently not a Xiu Xiu fan.) The lines, "Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife/ I feel like I'm in the prime of my life," don't exactly ring out as the most profound or vivid within Joel's catalog -- and it's certainly not one of his best songs. But, since the 25-year-old actress spent many of her formative years living on Long Island, this track was probably something her father Michael Lohan would bellow along to in the car.
Billy Joel, who's reportedly thisclose to inking undisclosed lyrics from "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" on his bicep, was 40 or 41 when he released "I Go to Extremes" -- an apology song to Christie Brinkley. It was the second single from the 1990 multi-platinum album Storm Front, co-produced by Foreigner's Mick Jones. Arguably the prime of his recording career had come prior to that album -- River of Dreams was next -- so there's a bit of self-delusion in those lyrics. Apt for Lohan, but the rest of us can choose from a wide range of better words from Joel's oeuvre.
It didn't take long to find 13 better lines to have permanently inked, including placement, on Lohan's skin.
A deep line on the inside of her lower lip to help her remember how to act:
"You've given me the best of you, but now I need the rest of you," from "This is the Time"
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Something for her inner forearm to view while holding a gun at a firing range:
"J.F.K. blown away what else do I have to say" from "We Didn't Start the Fire."
A little risque bit for the inner thigh:
"Melodrama's so much fun," from "Zanzibar"
Skull, right over the cerebral cortex:
"You may be right, I may be crazy, But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for," from "You May Be Right"
Uh, right thumb:
"I got a thumb and she's a son of a bitch," from "Worse Come to Worst"
Top of left foot:
"And you look so polished, from your hair down to your toes. Ah but still, your finger's gonna pick your nose after all," from "Captain Jack"
Just below the collarbone:
"Ooh, and when you wake up in the mornin' with your head on fire, and your eyes too bloody to see/ go on and cry in your coffee, but don't come bitchin' to me," from "Big Shot"
Wrapped around an ankle:
"How about a pair of pink sidewinders and a bright orange pair of pants? You could really be a Beau Brummell baby If you just give it half a chance," from "It's Still Rock 'n' Roll to Me."
Half on the back of one hand, half on the other:
"They're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinkin' alone," from "Piano Man"
"You have no scars on your face, and you cannot handle PRESSURE," from "Pressure"
"Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile," from "Vienna"
"Workin' too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack," from "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)"
Any other choice Billy Joel lines that are worth a permanent spot on the human body?