Photo by George Martinez 50. Girlfriendly PDA. (That's for the "L" in PLUR.)
If you've got ears, Ultra Music Festival is a pretty fun time.
But if you've also got eyes, it's amaaaaaaaaazing.
Basically, this sprawling EDM fest is a phantasmagoric fun parade starring famous people, nearly naked ladies, the beefiest of beefcakes, the kandiest of ravers, and the most ridiculously costumed of party people -- all spazzing out to uhntz-uhntz amid an LED landscape that's exploding with fireworks, lasers, pyro, kryo, and confetti.
Look, gawk, or leer... Here are 50 things you see at Ultra Music Festival.
Photo by George Martinez
49. A Guy With a Vagina in the Middle of His Chest
Accompanied by a female friend with a deep interest in this curious phenomenon.
Photo by George Martinez
48. A Riff Raff Head on Lady Legs
Anyone else have recurring sweaty nightmares about exactly this thing?
Photo by George Martinez
47. Bad Girls With Marijuana Boobs and "Fuck Me" Eyes
Congrats on some impressive glitter and rhinestone work. Ditto on the handpainted sunglasses.
Photo by George Martinez
46. A Young Lady "Expressing Herself" Atop Her Boyfriends' Shoulders
But, uh, which way is he facing?
Photo by George Martinez
45. Ultra Hairdos
This kind of 'do takes dedication. Look at the Manic Panic-ed mini-mohawk. And the intricate razor work on that logo. We're too lazy to even get a regular haircut? Props, raver kid.
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
44. Ultra Forehead Tattoos
At least it's temporary. But when these things become permanent, ink-and-needle jobs, we just might begin to believe the doomsayers screaming at the UMF gates.
Photo by George Martinez
43. Ultra Boob Decals
Nice work, miss, adorning your chest area without resorting to nipple pasties.
Photo by George Martinez
42. Ultra Hand Signs
Bro ... Don't let any fans of The U see you doin' that shit while strolling through downtown Miami.
Photo by George Martinez
42. Ultra Kandi Masks
Looks good. But can you eat it?
Photo by George Martinez
40. Molly
They finally found her. But what now?
Photo by George Martinez
39. ¡Luchador Ravero!
No, hermano ... We don't wanna wrestle.
Photo by George Martinez
38. Pills, Pills, Pills
But only on tank tops. Just say no.
Photo by George Martinez
37. The Long-Sought Five-Armed Kandi Monster
Oh, wait ... Is that just three bead-bedecked ravers mashed into a knot of flailing limbs? Fooled again.
Photo by George Martinez
36. Human Tubing, Raver Rafting
Where there is no water, ride the rave.
Photo by George Martinez
35. Dangerous Undergarments
Don't trip and fall face-first into those things. You might scratch a cornea.
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
34. Personalized Undergarments
Yes, those are their real names. Checked their driver's licenses.
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
33. Electrical Tape Undergarments
Run outta rave bottoms? Just tape 'em on!
Photo by George Martinez
32. Children's Undergarments
Way to raid your little brother's panty drawer, bro.
Photo by George Martinez
31. Undergarments From the Future
In 2069, the platinum standard for bustier comfort will be freezing nipples.
Photo by George Martinez
30. Skrillex Levitating!
Dubstep is magic.
Photo by George Martinez
29. OMG, a Fucking Tiger!
OK. Yeah. So maybe that's a dog.
Photo by George Martinez
28. Panicked Raver Chick
Relax ... It's a dog.
Photo by George Martinez
27. A Rainbow Come to Life
He was born of light and mist. And now he's descended to Earth to dance.
Photo by George Martinez
26. A Kangaroo Who's Traveled All the Way from Australia to Rave
How do you smuggle a full-grown marsupial aboard a transglobal commercial airliner? And keep it hidden for 18 hours?
Photo by George Martinez
25. Poultry as Hats
That chicken looks superuncomfortable, bro.
Photo by George Martinez
24. Shells as Bras
Nature's solution for party-time breast support.
Photo by George Martinez
23. Stickers as Shirts
Because if your nipples aren't showing, then you aren't topless.
Photo by George Martinez
22. Flags as Blankies
Sweet dreams, you sleepy Danish raver.
Photo by George Martinez
21. Paper Bags as Masks
Because they breathe better than plastic bags.
Photo by George Martinez
20. Superhero Superfans
Comic-Con is that way, bros.
Photo by George Martinez
19. Six Guy Fawkeses, All Certified Aerobics Instructors
Gunpowder, good times, and dancercise!
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
18. The Royal Family
Buckingham Palace is that way, bros.
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
17. Steve Irwin Impersonators' Annual Memorial EDM Convention
R.I.P. Crocodile Hunter. A "Krikey!" in your honor.
Photo by George Martinez
16. Hair Metal Tribute Performers
The blowdryer's that way, bros.
Photo by George Martinez
15. Star-Spangled Speedos
The most patriotic way to stash your junk.
Photo by George Martinez
14. Star-Spangled Bikinis
Oh, say can you C cup ...
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
13. Star-Spangled Kandi
Fact: Both George Dubs and Tommie Jefferson wore one just like it. A grand American tradition.
Photo by George Martinez
12. Star-Spangled Capes
For when you're feeling like a human flagpole.
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
11. Star-Spangled Overalls
With nothing underneath. Except a star-spangled speedo.
Photo by George Martinez
10. Hand Hearts
Raver charades ... The Asian cutie is flashing peace. The daisy girl represents love. The whole crowd is a symbol of unity. And the smiles are an expression of respect.
Photo by George Martinez
9. More Hand Hearts
Two hands, one heart, and a gnarly beard.
Photo by George Martinez
8. Even More Hand Hearts
Two hands, one heart, and a couple of nose rings.
Photo by Marta Xochilt Perez
7. Too Many Hand Hearts
OK, guys. Can we give it a rest, please?
Photo by George Martinez
6. Sarcastic Hand Hearts
Oh, touché.
Photo by George Martinez
5. Afrojack Enjoying an Epic Moment
This is how those Dutch DJs build all that upper-body strength.
Photo by George Martinez
4. Incredibly Tall Guy Enjoying an Epic Moment
Our mistake ... He's standing on something.
Photo by George Martinez
3. Hardwell Enjoying an Epic Moment
Huh? What? How? Oh ... No, bro. Not raining.
Photo by George Martinez
2. Yet another Guy Enjoying an Epic Moment
Oh, we should turn around? They're throwing peanuts from the stage?
Photo by George Martinez
1. The End
Seriously ... You can put your arms down now.
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