Back From the Dead! A Sampling of Jesus' iPod Tunes

There's nothing more satisfying than stirring up the pot within these digital pages of the Grind, but we've (read: me) been advised to trim down on the cheekiness for the Easter celebrations lest we are actively seeking for the smiting of legal firms in representation of religious offices.

Having recently suffered the wrath of mother by continuously consuming red meat on Fridays and the proclaiming of giving up hookers for Lent, I know better than to piss off Mr. Jesus' friends. There's a good Crusades joke in there somewhere, but again, we're not allowed to say since that might piss off the Big Three religions who are always in conflict with one another. Whoops! Might've gone too far there!

So in the spirit of Easter, here are a few jams from Jesus' iPod we'd like to share with you after the jump.

If there ever was a question of Jesus' stoner status, it is squashed now with proof-positive gems like this track from Lyd's sole, 1970 album, The Time of Hate and Struggle. Just the right blend of garage punk, fuzz, and psychedelia.

Lyd - "Need You"

And wouldn't you know it? Mr. Jesus is ready for today's hectic life with this beauty by electronic music precursors Fifty Foot Hose. Off their 1967 album, Cauldron, "Bad Trip" is a little bit of that and helluva lot more.

Fifty Foot Hose - "Bad Trip"

Jesus has no time for your dumbass hipster boyfriend, who is, in fact, the biggest poseur Jesus has ever seen, and Jesus has seen a lot of poseurs in his time. Jesus is waaaaaay fucking cooler than your dumbass hipster boyfriend because when he digs obscurity, he digs Indiana's Zerfas and he's the piper.

Zerfas - "The Piper"

Jesus was the original player, a shaker, a mover, an operator. But even he knows when to shut the fuck up and let someone else be the cock of the walk for a bit. Only the Ohio Players would know what heaven looks like.

The Ohio Players - "Heaven Must Be Like This"

This one threw us for loop. We never would've imagined Jesus would be into bossa nova or MPB, but apparently he is and again shows impeccable taste with this beautiful track by Brazil's greatest female vocalist (of all time), Elis Regina. Her drug-related death in 1982 at age 36 still hurts us musically.

Elis Regina - "Águas de Março"

Progressively awesome was this Mr. Jesus dude, and this inclusion by another pioneering outfit, Detroit's first punkers Death, just goes to show how incredibly more awesome church would be if I, I mean, he were in charge of the music.

Death - "Let the World Turn"

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