January 31, 2012 | 9:08am
This is your official heads up to strap down your valuables and cover the young children's ears, protecting them from the audatory threat that is Bare, A.K.A. Sean Rodela.
A step beyond dubstep, barestep will resonate through town and ears at Dub Vibes: SOFL/Chapter 4 at Revolution Live.
His sound is so heavy-hitting that for the safety of the masses, we recommend steering clear of playing it near any topographical fault lines.
This is not an event for the faint of heart, or those prone to seizures. If you're thinking, "Hey, I love James Blake, I like electronic music," stay far away. An application process should be implemented for those wishing to be in attendance, or at least a preliminary checklist to ensure everyone is adequately prepared for the experience.
Before you buy those tickets, do you have any events that require your presence on the following 2-3 days? That probably won't work out too well for you. You're going to need to reserve time for recuperation. And give yourself a solid week for your hearing to return to near-normal. Weekend cleared? Okay! Oh, and are you insane? Bravo, weekend's clear, you're nuts, this show is perfect for you.
Pick up someone you've been trying to impress, literally pick them up, and shake them in a fit of joy. Because we should consider ourselves lucky to have these giants in our area. And who knows, maybe after all that disorienting manifestation of intensity you might actually score more than ringing ears.
Catch Bare, Crizzley, and Big Chocolate at Dub Vibes: SOFL/Chapter 4 on February 10 at Revolution Live (100 Southwest Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Tickets are $20. Visit jointherevolution.net.