Beatdown 2012 at BB&T Center With Flo Rida, Waka Flocka Flame, DMX, and More on November 30

Both the immortal words of Ol' Dirty Bastard, "I'll beat your ass," and L.L. Cool J's signature saying, "Momma said 'Knock you out' " are fitting themes for the upcoming Beatdown 2012. WBA fighters and hip-hop heavyweights take center stage at the BB&T Center, presumably to cheer up Panther fans still pissed off over this year's NHL lockout. Featuring several title bouts, Beatdown culminates in the headlining fight between Joan "Little Tyson" Guzman and Khabib "The Hawk" Allakhverdiev for the vacant WBA light-welterweight belt. If that's not enough to get to you gorging on bloody slabs of steak while swigging Scotch and puffing your favorite Dominican cigar, Flo Rida, Waka Flocka Flame, Fat Joe, Travis Porter, Fabolous, and the Mike Tyson of hip-hop, DMX, will be performing to fuel the blood lust. We don't know about you, but we're doing lines of coke while brooding at our shirtless reflection in the bathroom mirror in preparation for this fucked-up fiasco.

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Anthony Hernandez