Because if the story were true, we would assume that Johnson has spent the 74 years since his death (at the age of 27, BTW) in total physiological-existential agony as his spiritual essence is ravaged -- with dull, Sisyphean repetition -- by the eternal volcanic hellfire of the weird-ass S&M "playpen" Satan has set up in the Earth's core.
And if that's true, blues-rockers, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, may want to watch their asses if they want to make it to their gig at the Culture Room later this month.
'Cause they been consortin' with the devil.
Back in 2011, Todd Park Mohr, his big head, a smattering of Monsters, and some special guests, recorded an album in tribute to the father of blues and grandfather of rock 'n' roll, entitled, 100 Years of Robert Johnson. The album was completely comprised of amplified and smoothed-down renditions of Johnson classics. And in certain eschatological bar rock circles, the record has secured that everyone involved will face total damnation.
Lucky for Todd and company, Culture Room has a long history of hosting Satanically-inclined genres, like gore-obsessed death metal and, uh, church-burning-obsessed black metal.
In fact, maybe El Diablo himself might make an appearance. And then The Monsters can sell their souls to him to ensure North America is in for a 100 year-long reign of blues rock.
Big Head Todd & The Monsters. Saturday, January 19. Culture Room, 3045 N Federal Hwy, Ft Lauderdale. Doors open at 8p.m. and tickets are $32.85 through Ticketmaster. Visit cultureroom.net or call the box office at (954) 564-1074.