We're not sure what's going on in Ireland these days, but it must be pretty boring, because the country's largest bookmaker has drawn up extensive odds on who will be Rihanna's next boyfriend.
Paddy Power plc sent us a cheerful press release this morning with the title, "HE RI RI LIKES HER - BROWN FAVOURITE TO WOO RIHANNA."
That's a reference to Chris Brown, Rihanna's onetime domestic abuser and recent Grammy Award ziggurat-hopper. Their possible reunion was considered just days ago on this very blog.
Here's the full list of possible Rihanna suitors and the betting odds:
Rihanna's Next Boyfriend
2/7 Chris Brown
8/1 Colin Farrell
12/1 Justin Timberlake
16/1 Travis Barker
25/1 Matt Cardle
25/1 Jake Gyllenhall
25/1 Tinie Tempah
25/1 Taio Cruz
33/1 Bruno Mars
33/1 Steve Jones
33/1 Jeremy Renner
40/1 Justin Bieber
40/1 Leonardo Di Caprio
50/1 Simon Cowell
50/1 Joaquin Phoenix
Ouch -- sorry, Joaquin and Simon. Apparently a record of violent abuse is less of a game-killer than a choreographed descent into slovenly madness.
While they were at it, the Irishmen cooked up some odds for a prospective fight between WWE wrestler CM Punk and Brown, after CM challenged Brown on Twitter.
1/20 CM Punk
7/1 Chris Brown
Still, at least Chris would be trying to beat up a dude this time.
Rumors of a possible reunion have been fueled by the picture above, which circulated on Twitter. There are no details on whether the photo is recent, but resident New Times celeb-gossip consultant Betsey J. Denberg says, "That's what her hair looks like now, so I think it is."
When it's not predicting celeb romances, Paddy Power engages in more traditional avenues of bookmaking, such as arranging the world's biggest-ever strip poker tournament and skinny-dipping events and getting a Tongan rugby player to change his name to Paddy Power for the duration of the 2007 World Cup. They also cater to soused old men who want to make a euro or two on a footy match.
Stefan Kamph: Twitter | Facebook | Email