Navigation

Commercial Jingles From Your South Florida Childhood That Will Stay With You FOREVER

Ever wonder why you cashed in your promised quince gift of a boob job at the Florida Center for Cosmetic Surgery? Well, it's totally because their catchy as hell jingle used to advertise their very superficial services was on the radio all the freaking time!We down here in South Florida...
Share this:

Ever wonder why you cashed in your promised quince gift of a boob job at the Florida Center for Cosmetic Surgery? Well, it's totally because their catchy as hell jingle used to advertise their very superficial services was on the radio all the freaking time!

We down here in South Florida also remember a particular set of advertising tunes those north of PBC have never before heard. These songs drove us to do things like be there at the Fair, get it at the Swap Shop, and even got us thinking that Opa Locka was the place to be! We chanted, "Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins number one!" while waiting for the bathroom at school, in front of the television, and even, sometimes, in our sleep. 

What follows are some commercial jingles that from your South Florida youth that will follow you forever. 


10. Miami Vice Does Pepsi

If you lived in South Florida during those steamy and dangerous Miami Vice days, you felt 24-7 super cool. Those neon lit murder scenes let your cousins in Boise know that you were tough as shit, so don't steal your toys! Crockett and Tubbs in their slick white blazers and tropical prints indicated to them that you knew how to pimp a bright pink jean windbreaker like no other. 


Pepsi was the hottest beverage in the '80s, figuratively. The company even scorched Michael Jackson and got away with it! Pepsi in the USA also got our hometown homeboys looking mad cool in this 1986 commercial. 


9. Santa's Enchanted Forest

Santa's Enchanted Forest was, and is, an ADHD wonderland for the youth of SoFla. A place of first kisses and first acid trips. Let this jingle transport you back to that teenaged drug altered state. 

This commercial leads one to ask: "Bro, are you going to Santa's?" 


8. Toys R Us


Sure this was a national ad, but we'll be damned if you don't remember every single word to this jingle. With all the corruption and poverty in South Florida in the '80s, most of us were just wannabe Toys R Us kids. 



 

7. Florida Center for Cosmetic Surgery
Nothing says South Florida like the tune created to promote the Florida Center for Cosmetic Surgery. You can't even say the words without singing them. Try it. This commercial was on the radio and television for an eternity. Besides, it's about boob jobs, and not to stereotype, but... Catch these Miami mamis. 


6. Joy 107
Did anyone actually listen to Joy 107? No. No one did. But we all knew the singsong of the radio voice's "Joy 107." 


5. Goya

Once in the nineties, I went to a Goya exhibition, I think at the Met in New York. It was sponsored by Goya, a brand with which I was very well acquainted. 



4. Opa Locka/Hialeah
Sure this version of the classic commercial sounds more intense than the one we grew up with and even includes talks about sexual acts with a cigar, but it's so similar...



3. The Dade County Youth Fair
"Be there! The Fair!" The ad insisted.

"OK. OK. OK!" We said, "Mom, can you drive us to FIU? Pleeeeasssee?"


2. Palm Beach's Jai-alai
We feel the heat of those greyhounds in aviators. 


1. Maroone
Sure, it was a knockoff of the Ghostbuster's song, but it's now it's the Maroone Toyota tune. When you need a car, truck, or van, damn straight you call Maroone!  

Bonus Ad:


Tha Swap Shop



KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.