Scott Stapp needs you to hold him, now. He's six feet from the edge of total mental collapse.
For the past two months, the former or maybe still frontman for Creed has made headlines for his shockingly erratic behavior. From seemingly insane and violent text messages to his wife to government conspiracy theories, there's never been a better celebrity meltdown in Boca.
Now, Stapp has filed a criminal complaint against his beauty-pageant wife for stealing money from his bank account, and on top of that, he wants you to donate to his efforts to write an album and a book.
Of course, there's a counter fundraiser just to get Stapp to stahp.
Let's start with the Christian singer's unholy matrimony.
Stapp hit the Boca Raton Police with his criminal complaint because wife Jaclyn Stapp allegedly transferred about $2,000 from his bank account to hers. According to a statement one of his buddies made to GossipExtra, "It's nothing money." Well, nothing ain't nothing when you're running from perceived imminent terrorist attacks or "biological weapons."
In case you forgot or weren't paying attention, Jaclyn Stapp filed for divorce, citing bizarre and horrifying text messages from the rock star, including such hits as "I'm coming to get you Satan and children. No mercy. You know how this ends. God created you and now God is ending you" and "I wouldn't doubt it if the CIA is behind Alcoholics Anonymous."
As a bonus, the address Scott Stapp gave police is just the address of a CVS. As police prove to be "frustrated and annoyed" with him, he's taken to recording videos of himself ranting, so you can at least hear his side of the story. We listened to the video, but we're still not exactly sure what Ferguson, Missouri, has to do with any of this.
In a more playful bout of internet inanity, Stapp started a fundly, which is just like KickStarter but not, to raise money for a new album and book. A quick search of fundly.com turns up nothing for that original account. Instead, we find four accounts just to "Stop Stapp" from making any more content and one fundraiser simple titled "I just want to raise more money than Scott Stapp."
We hear the singer raised at least $500 before apparently giving up. Poor guy. That's still not enough to replace what his wife took, nor what went missing from his soul.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.