Dear women of the world, exactly how starved for attention are you? Would you say, hungry enough to twerk off in front of thousands of people at a music festival?
If you answered "yes," our next question is: Are you already heading to Electric Zoo in New York City?
OMG, yes to both?! Flippin' awesome! You have a chance to get on stage with Diplo and help him make twerking history! That's the tits, girl. You are practically a superstar already. Of course, you'll then have to give up your right to make fun of Miley Cyrus, but we digress.
Diplo is mad ambitious, and he's hoping to set a new world record for the largest "twerk wall" in history. We're not really sure there has ever been one of more than five girls, or that such a feat will even be relevant in eight months, but a trendsetter isn't concerned with future relevancy anyway.
Thing is, Diplo doesn't dance. He gets girls to dance for him. For this occasion, he needs 50, and he needs you to send him a video of you handstanding while you make your ass clap for the camera. All entries should be sent to twerk4Diplo@gmail.com.
It sounds cool, but then you realize that winning the contest doesn't actually get you to New York, so it's less than likely Miami twerkers will be interested. It does however get you a free ticket to the festival and a 1-in-50 chance of having sex with Diplo. And you have a pretty cool story to hide from your kids forever. Worth it? That's a personal decision. But you better act fast! Shit goes down this Saturday, Sept. 1.
We're just going to wait and watch the after-movie.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to New Times Broward-Palm Beach's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling South Florida's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism