Talking Shit

Dr. Patty's Dental Boutique Offers Botox and Teeth Whitening Gatherings for Ugly Bridal Parties

Are you planning the picture perfect wedding but your bridal party is a bunch of Bowsers? Your friends need more than just a relaxing day of mani-pedis. Modern beauty trends haven't left your less attractive friends in the trenches. Dr. Patty's Dental Boutique will whip your disappointing damsels into shape and punish them with stabby needles at the same time. How's that for incentive to be a bridesmaid? 

The self-proclaimed first dental spa in South Florida is now offering a "Wedding Day Smile Makeover" package starting at $100 for four soon-to-be-lovely ladies through December 31. As if brides (dictatorial divas, if you will) didn't have enough to manage in preparation of their "special day," now there's this.


Don't get us wrong, Dr. Patty's just giving the people what they want and you certainly can't blame her for that! The spa also offers more traditional beauty type treatments that are actually relaxing (like facials and massages) and temporary (like eyelash extensions).

Botox parties sound harmless enough, like Tupperware or sex toy

parties, but, uh, we thinks they're actually pretty disturbing. You

pay someone to come to your home -- a super sterile environment, to be sure

-- to inject a neurotoxic protein into your face in order to literally paralyze muscles in your face all in the name of vanity. Not that Botox doesn't have legitimate medical uses, but producing the prettiest wedding pics isn't the most therapeutic one no matter what Bridezilla says.

But, if you find immobile faces the most beautiful of all and only the whitest teeth will do, Dr. Patty's has at least made your vanity reasonably affordable.

Dr. Patty's Dental Boutique is located at 646 North Federal Highway in the Victoria Park Shoppes in Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-524-2300, or visit DrPattyDental.com.



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Rebecca McBane is the arts and culture/food editor for New Times Broward-Palm Beach. She began her journalism career at the Sun Sentinel's community newspaper offshoot, Forum Publishing Group, where she worked as the editorial assistant and wrote monthly features as well as the weekly library and literature column, "Shelf Life." After a brief stint bumming around London's East End (for no conceivable reason, according to her poor mother), she returned to real life and South Florida to start at New Times as the editorial assistant in 2009. A native Floridian, Rebecca avoids the sun and beach at all costs and can most often be found in a well-air-conditioned space with the glow of a laptop on her face.
Contact: Rebecca McBane