It's time once again for the freaks to descend en masse upon movie theaters across the country. This time, though, instead of the good ol' Grateful Dead, it will be a slew of some of the world's most famous knob-tweaking, needle-dropping DJs -- including David Guetta, Deadmau5, Will.I.Am, and Moby -- who will be providing the groove virtually from up on the big screen as the Electric Daisy Carnival Experience is broadcast into more than 500 theaters nationwide.
Now, we can't expect the electro-raver bunch -- or any bunch anywhere -- to be quite as mellow as the Deadheads, but we do hope that shit doesn't get quite as crazy for the big broadcast on August 4 as it did during the premiere yesterday in LA.
For those unfamiliar, the Electric Daisy Carnival is a humongous annual electronic music festival (what the old-timers call a "rave") that has been stirring hundreds of thousands of wide-eyed, ecstatic, energy balls into prolonged states of collective bliss since '97. The "Experience" is set to be the micro, movie-theater version of that. Sound good? Read on for a few tips on how have the most PLUR-tastic "Experience" possible -- that means no rioting, kids.
No Fucking Rioting, Kids!
Sheesh, what are they putting in the rolls these days?! Reports from the LA scene included kids throwing bottles at cops and even lighting one of their cars on fire. It would have been way cooler to just chill out and enjoy the trippy lights on the roofs of the cruisers, no? Look, we know the fuzz can be a drag, but freaking out never did anyone any good. Just try to stay cool no matter what, OK? OK. Now that that's out of the way...
Bring your own candy pacifiers, candy bracelets, candy nipple rings, and candy attitudes
Sneaking in your own goods is always (apparently) the first rule for partying down at your local multiplex (besides not causing a riot, which is usually an unspoken rule). Not only is it cheaper, but it's the only way to ensure that your candy is pure, clean stuff. Rumor has it that the Skittles from the snack bar are laced with Milk Dud powder.
Be sure to drink plenty of water
Typically, you may not want to take in much fluid as you enjoy a film, so as to avoid having to get up and go to the bathroom. In this case, though, for your own safety, you must. It's easy to get dehydrated while you're raving hard-core, all hopped up on pixie dust. If you feel the urge to pee, just dance harder! Either you'll sweat out the excess or you'll get so happy that you won't care if you piss yourself.
Take care of your sisters and brothers
If you see someone drop to the floor, immediately wave a flashing light in front of his or her face. If their eyes start to roll back into their head, you're probably doing a great job. Keep it up!*
*Joking! Please be safe, smart, and respectful and enjoy the party!
The Electric Daisy Carnival Experience. 9 p.m. Thursday, August 4, at Aventura Mall 24 with IMAX, 19501 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura; Magnolia Place 16, 9645 Westview Drive, Coral Springs; Cinemark Paradise 24, 15601 Sheridan St., Fort Lauderdale; Cypress Creek Station 16, 6415 N. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale; Miami Lake 17 Cinemas, 6711 Main St., Hialeah; Sunset Place 24 with IMAX, 5701 Sunset Drive, Miami; Dolphin 19 Cinemas, 11471 NW 12th St., Ste 100, Miami; Movies @ the Falls 12, 9000 SW 136th St., Miami; and South Beach Stadium 18, 1120 Lincoln Road, Miami. Tickets cost $13 to $15. Click here.
Follow County Grind on Facebook and Twitter: @CountyGrind.