"Everythang's Corrupt!" Ice Cube's New Music Video for the 99% is a Political Tour de Farts

Y'know those hipsterish-y music videos that are, like, quickly flashing images depicting beautiful people, mad thriftable knickknacks and internetty whimsicality?

Well, the video for Ice Cube's new single, "Everythang's Corrupt" is similar. Only instead of topless models wearing Zoro masks doing the Macarena and squirrels with eyepatches smoking cigarettes, the veteran gangsta rapper has slapped together a year-plus' worth of seemingly political but actually just vague references to current events.

It's clear to us that the West Side rapper is trying to capitalize on election mania. He may have set out to record a political tour de force. But if you ask us, it's a bit closer to a tour de farts.

"Go to school, teachers wanna fuck the students/Go to church, my preacher turned to prostitution

Cube opens his assault on current events by going right for the gullet: Penn State football coach, Jerry Sandusky, the Catholic Church, and sexual abuse. Sure, Rage Against The Machine filmed a music video outside of the New York Stock Exchange. But only Ice Cube really goes there.

"This shit is wild/Chickens gettin' sick as the cows/Birds fallin' out the sky/Fish dyin' in piles"

Wait just one minute. Are we listening to Ice Cube? Or is this the new single from The Lorax? You know, that mustachioed little sonuvabitch that speaks for the trees? Could Dr. Seuss pull off a slant rhyme as daring as "sky" and "piles?"

"I squeeze Lincolns so hard/A fuckin' booger came out"

This lyric is a reference to the recession and the secret conspiracy to keep the world from knowing that Abraham Lincoln was filled with boogers.

"They took the shirt off my back/And replaced it with chains"

Its a pretty straightforward line. But when Ice gets to it, the video quickly flashes a montage of disgraced athletes. Ice Cube is always looking out for the little guy. Like Tiger Woods.

"The 99% is mad trying to vent/Police grabbed my fuckin' arms/Yeah they got bent"

If Romney's Big Bird reference from the first Presidential debate made it into this video, you can bet your compost heap that Occupy Wall Street would appear. The video's producers are probably pissed that they dropped the video so close to the hurricane, otherwise they would have included that too.

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