To everyone crying over Kiss not getting into the "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" -- yep, those are scare quotes -- the institution andits yearly nominations
, which omitted the "Detroit Rock City" act this year, are both bullshit. The only people who deserve a spot in there are fringe acts the governing body of the "operation" have never heard of. Note: Two of the biggest fringe bands, the Ramones and the Stooges, managed to get in.
If rock 'n' roll has taught me anything, it's how uncompromising it can be. Ultimately, it's an African art, so if Chrissy Zebby Tembo and the Witch are not in it, I can't trust Jimi and Chuck appeasing your Scandinavian sensitivities. And you Kiss Army soldiers? Who the hell wants their platform-shoe-wearing, full Kabuki-makeup heroes put in a museum anyways?
Five bands the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame needs more than they need it follow.
Let it be known that I stir the race pot here. Let's enjoy some nice tunes from outfits that deserve some more recognition!
05. Chrissy Zebby Tembo and Ngozi Family -- Africa's answer to your white psychedelia. Some people call it Zamrock; I call it GOOD!
04. Living Colour -- How's Vernon Reid not your god? I guess you have cult of personality.
03. Bad Brains -- Better than anything else in the world. Even Madge tried to get in on their pants. Ooohie-wooohie! Better than President Big Ears!
02. Witch -- You got some lazy bones? Nah, didn't think so; you have central AC and double-glazed windows... you're all first-world, baby.
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01. Leadbelly -- You ever sang your way out of a petty jam? Didn't think so. Leadbelly sang his way out of JAIL! And it is a crying shame you only know this track by white people!
Kindly direct your hate mail to our offices in the Sun-Sentinel building! Suck it, Kiss! Let's have real music!