That's why New Year's Eve is the most exciting holiday we've got. There are new beginnings, new budgets, new underwear, but the actual party night isn't always as exciting as you'd hope it'd be. You're shitfaced by midnight, some dubstepper has commandeered the iPod, and you don't remember whose lipstick is all over your face.
We're stepping in here to try to ensure that you not worry about anything this NYE except getting a ride home and getting more lipstick on your face. Here are our five finest finds for a fantastic Broward or Palm Beach County New Year's Eve.
1. Masquerade Ball: Eyes Wide Shut
9 p.m. at Respectable Street, 518 Clematis St., West Palm Beach. Tickets cost $10. Visit eventbee.com/v/respectablestreetnye.
Dress in the style of the Kubrick movie everyone under the age of 30 has seen (and references constantly) for Respectable Street's New Year's blowout. Elegant, sexy, and "secret society" is the way they describe the outfit you're wearing to ring in 2014 on Clematis. West Palm Beach's live-music anchor rounded up four of the area's finest acts for this party: Hollywood-flavored doo-wop by Beach Day, Boca rock trio Pretty Girls, West Palm's psych-pop outfit Band in Heaven, and Lake Worth indie dudes Wake Up. A free champagne toast at midnight makes the $10 cover more than acceptable, and if you win the costume contest, you get a bottle of Veuve Clicquot; i.e., you get drunk free.
2. New Year's Eve J Street Block Party
5 p.m. at Propaganda, 6 S. J St., Lake Worth. Entrance is $10; $5 before 7 p.m. Visit facebook.com/PropagandaLakeWorth.
Quantity is key on J Street this January 31. About 20 bands will be singing "Auld Lang Syne" (hey, a nostalgic girl can dream!), and 17 DJs will be playing "1999" (please?) all in the heart of Lake Worth. Propaganda not only offers the most diverse live lineup in town for the second year in a row but also a laser light show and an eagle drop at midnight — à la Propaganda's double-headed bird logo. There will be every kind of sound, like the punk-folk of Everymen, reggae of Spred the Dub, hard rock of Lavola, and nasty metal of the Toilets. Get ready to get dirty and not regret a minute of it.
3. Swingin' New Year's
8 p.m. at the Retro Lounge, 2608 S. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale. $10 entrance; $5 after midnight. Call 561-716-3200, or email [email protected].
Sometimes you want to enter the future while paying tribute to yesteryear. It seems a bunch of parties make this their thang, but Retro Lounge, formerly 5 Points Lounge and Monterrey Club, has kept its rockabilly aesthetic steady, day in and day out. It'll be welcoming 2014 with a Rat Pack tribute by Tony Martelli and more sounds by the Retro Lounge Swing Band, and DJ Ronn's bringing videos from the past. Naturally, there will be burlesque — "Bump and Grind Classic Vegas" style — tattooed ladies, and Frank Sinatra lookalikes. Times Square and a balloon drop will connote the arrival of January 1. Remember, the key here is: It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.
4. Old Hollywood Ball
The big-band sounds of Bobby Lee Rogers & the Bourbon Boys will keep old Hollywood alive as 2013 dies out. Vaudeville, more burlesque, more balloons, and even more champagne are how this fresh hot spot will take you (dressed as Marilyn Monroe, presumably) into the new. Bitches better dress glamour all the way, 'cause these folks are not playing around. Though the price isn't supercheap, there's an open bar and hors d'oeuvres for all.
5. New Year's Rock the Block Party
8:30 p.m. at Boca Raton Resort & Club, the Waldorf Astoria Resort, 501 E. Camino Real, Boca Raton. Tickets cost $120. Call 561-447-3000, or visit facebook.com/bocaresort.
For those with a little more than ten bones in their wallets, the Waldorf Astoria Resort in Boca is hosting an all-out high-class bash. Bro, they even have C&C Music Factory — they've got "The Power." Other reasons to wear your dancing shoes include the Sugar Hill Gang and Michaela Paige from The Voice. A cool $120 will get you a street buffet, open bar, fireworks, ice skating, and a glow parade (whatever that is). But to get into this massive blowout, you need to be a hotel guest. Get on it, now.