Oh boy! Another year almost down the drain, and here we find ourselves running out of shopping time for another holiday season. Great, nothing makes the holiday season better than more unnecessary stress. Well actually, that's not entirely true; bickering relatives, gaudy sweaters, Uncle Bob thick in the eggnog, all manners of little things add up to what therapists will eventually tell you will be cherished memories.
See also:
- Blowfly Does XXX-Mas is a Timeless Wad of Dirty Cheer
- Top Ten Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
All fine and dandy if my sheriffs here at the Grind granted me Ann Landers powers and you, all three of you readers, sent some letters in. So what better way to greet this upcoming season than with some tunes by local artists we've either ignored or were not aware of? That's right, from the downright cheesy to those fallen to the wayside, we here at County Grind wish you and yours a happy and safe Holiday season.
5. New Found Glory - "The Christmas Song"
Undoubtedly the yuletide dream of many a teenage girl, these Coral Springers cut lose in somebody's house trying their darnest to set things on fire and decorate for the festivities. It's sweet to think of their chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Misguided? Yes. Cute? Adorably so. Especially when they shout out Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. Available on cassette now for you!
4. The Skyywalker All-Stars - "It's Christmas"
Straight from Uncle Luke's 1987 compilation cassette the Bass Waves compilation comes an old school toast to Christmas featuring the vocals of DJ Man, LeJuan Love, Anquette, and the 2 Live Crew. This is the kind of jam that will get grandma hiking up her knickers and rocking a saggy-drop bump and grind.
3. Jeff Neiman - "The Christmas Song"
Sometimes we troll for hidden gems and come across little miracles of this caliber. Homeboy has a sweet beard, flowing rivulets of mullet hair and some downright awesome braces. But who is Jeff Neiman? Is he this guy or is he this lawyer? Who is Lisa LaCross and more importantly, who comprises the Magic City staff? A little holiday mystery!
2. Flo Rida and Trey Songz - "Jingle Bells"
The advantage of not having a television for a long time and not having the physique that allows for shopping at certain stores is that this little Johnny-come-lately had no idea about this musical commercial for the Gap. Why does Flo Rida insist on driving imaginary vehicles? This was downright scary but that is one cozy looking scarf.
1. Blowfly - "The Twelve Lays of Christmas"
Even though this has all been in good fun and in the spirit of the holidays, we must end it righteously and with true intent. And South Florida's never had a better spokesperson to deliver cheer than the almighty Blowfly. On behalf of the 'Fly and all of us here at County Grind, we wish you a sloppy and sexy holiday season!
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