Rivers Cuomo has this to say to anyone calling him a corporate shill.
Rivers Cuomo has this to say to anyone calling him a corporate shill.
Photo by Ian Witlen

Five Problems With Weezer's State Farm Jingle

Weezer just makes it so easy for us to resent them. What started as a clever pop-rock band has turned into one of the sickest jokes ever played on music fans. An initial perfect marriage of wit, hooks and super-fuzzed guitars turned out to be built on false pretenses, and the fans' love for the Weez was doomed.

The band's self-titled debut, referred to as "The Blue Album," is a damn near-perfect record. The follow-up, Pinkerton, was a dark and cathartic gem. "The Green Album" lacked any wit or emotion, and its paint-by-numbers version of the band sounds better every time they release a new record -- the reason being from Maladroit to Hurley they've turned into a Xerox of themselves. Whatever the original purpose of the band was has been obscured by lackluster songs, stupid album titles and bizarre promotional tie-ins.

Check out Weezer's version of the classic State Farm Jingle and let us tell you the five (of potentially thousands of) things that burn us up about this thing.

1. It's their best song in over ten years

This song is wonderfully executed. Rivers sounds sad and desperate -- is he desperate for to buy a new gold-plated Segway? They haven't sounded this much like themselves in so long, and it's a fucking jingle for insurance. This shit is an amazing song and we hate that the most about it.

2. No one likes insurance

Alright, we understand people gotta make money. If Weezer did a commercial for something we loved or even kind of liked we'd be of psyched. If it was a commercial for Coke Zero or Kellogg's Frosted Flakes or maybe even Brawny Paper Towels, it would make a little sense. Those are fun products and Weezer is (was) a fun band. But, we have to have insurance, we do not want it.

3. They've done this type of thing before

Five Problems With Weezer's State Farm Jingle

It was weird when they did this in 2009. As soon-to-be-ex-fans we forgave them because it was quirky, but the album that arrived with the Snuggie was so terrible.

4. They've done this type of thing before, again

The cover of their most recent album, Hurley, was a photo of Jorge "the guy who plays Hurley on Lost" Garcia. Lost was a pretty kick ass TV show, if Weezer are fans of Lost and they want to put that guy on the CD, then that's okay. But, it was revealed that extreme sports clothing company Hurley had sponsored the record and that the band hadn't ever seen the TV show. Ugh.

5. It's super sad

Weezer only sounds good when they embrace who they really are. On the Blue Album, they were probably just awkward guys that were really talented at putting songs together. On Pinkerton they were disillusioned with the trapping of rock stardom and they let out their frustrations on this record. On albums three through eight, they were just acting like the guys they used to be. But, the guys that they really are guys who have no clue what their fanbase wants or cares about. Nor do they care what their fans care about.

This commercial makes no one want to buy insurance it only makes Weezer fans upset. Weezer needs PR help big time.

Follow County Grind on Facebook and Twitter: @CountyGrind.


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