Captain Ron?
Captain Ron?

Five Things to Bring on Bret Michaels' Super Cruise

We're sure some of our readers are dying to wear their snakeskin pants on a boat, and that's why we are thrilled to alert you to the perfect opportunity to do so. Poison frontman and reality TV whore, Bret Michaels will be embarking on a rockin cruise from Miami to Cozumel and back next November, and for a bit of cash, you can hop on board with him for what he promises will be an "epic" voyage -- dare we say a Rock of Love... Boat. Though your meals will be included while on board, there are a few things we think you should bring, in addition to the pants, to ensure you'll be rocking to the max.


To slather on your circa 1987 Poison tatt... and the remainder of your butt cheeks.

A bottle of Jack Daniels

Especially if you're prone to seasickness, because you'll look like a wimp if you're puking uncontrollably without a bottle of Old No. 7 in your hand.

Shark repellent

We heard it keeps '80s strains of STDs away also.

Snakeskin sombrero

Your pants won't be enough to set you apart from the crowd once you reach Mexico. With the huge hat, you'll be unstoppable. 

What's left of your awesome '80s long hair

It will be cool once again when it is braided and beaded on the ship, especially with lots of sunburnt scalp showing through its thinning areas. 

Bon Voyage!

Bret Michaels' Super Cruise. November 10-14. Embarks from Miami via the Carnival Destiny. Click here.


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