You think studying Beer Pong-ology with a minor in Rage-onomics at frat parties helped you prepare for real-life, grown-up drinking activities. But when faced with a drunken spelling bee, the distinct possibility of failure looms large.
The smell of stale keg beer, one night stands, and regret has dissipated, and now it's time to upgrade to this classier form of alcoholic game, one that shows off your intellect above all else. The Dubliner is introducing its own Drunken Spelling Bee where wordy nerds can compete for a $500 cash prize, proving that their minds might be in tact though their livers may not. To aid in this not-so-sober challenge, we decided to give ya'll a few pointers to redeem yourself from misspelling "giraffe" or "antediluvian," if you make it to the finals.
5. Read the dictionary, front to back
Something else you learned from college was cramming. There's nothing wrong with a little all-nighter action. That walk of shame back from the library isn't actually shameful at all! Chug some Red Bull as you zip through Webster's, the sexiest dictionary out there. And by zip, we mean memorize every word, 'cause hey, you just can't be too over prepared. This is $500 on the line, people!
4. Be prepared for Urban Dictionary words
You don't want to mess up and spell "twerk," "twurk" by mistake. This is the day and age of the hood-rat, so expect some Urban Dictionary action to sneak its way into the proper bee. The internet is changing language. Even the First Lady knows how to Dougie and spell the word "Dougie."
3. Drink a few days prior
Preparing your mind is good, but your liver may still be shot from that wild kegger on campus last week. Prep a few days beforehand for the spelling bee by drinking copious amounts of liquor. We strongly encourage hunch punch and the mixing if it makes you that much closer to winning the prize.
2. Use lifelines
"Used in a sentence?" and other clues can aid you in the spotlight. Think of loopholes that can get you those correct letters and a step closer to that moolah.
1. Make friends with the judges
Who knows?! Maybe they'll overlook the fact you spelled "chlamydia" as "klamidia"?!
Drunken Spelling Bee, 9 p.m., Thursday, August 8, the Dubliner, 210 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-523-1213, or visit Facebook./