FTL Collective, the blog-about-town when your town is Fort Lauderdale, yesterday decried a smear on the local downtown bar scene: America's Backyard. The wildly popular haunt -- located between Live Nation venue Revolution Live and the tippler's dive Poor House -- is impossible to miss, in part because the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" pumping through its sound system carries for at least two blocks in every direction.
Although Guest Writer Andres starts out strong, titling his piece "The Annihilation of the Human Spirit," this takedown of the cesspool of horny locals and hopeful young tourists forcefully searching for that quintessential spring break experience sometimes doesn't get as angry as it should.
This is where we're left wondering:
Now if you're thinking, hey that doesn't sound so bad. Hot bartenders, random hook-ups, free showers, homeless guys... I understand.
Had Andres composed this entry whilst sitting anywhere within 20 feet of America's
Backyard's entrance, that "annihilation" part would be more pronounced.
It would be apt for paramedics to station themselves outside to aid the
stumbling, high-heeled females only a misstep away from a turned ankle
or the GNC-fueled bros wrapped in Affliction often gearing up to take
several swings at each other. So. Much. Pain.
This is pretty good, though:
To frequent ABY means one of two
things: a) you are not someone I would enjoy spending time with, or b)
you have compromised your dignity and some aspects of your humanity.
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Let it be said that County Grind has only once entered the establishment,
and it was during a charity function. Compared to the antics described,
the only strong words exchanged involved the seriousness of the plight
in Haiti. So perhaps with America's Backyard apologist Adelina Ridicolo (real name, I'm sure) as a guide (read her rebuttal here), there could be hope yet for a spot inspired by the place behind our homes where we're traditionally grillin', chillin', and letting the dog relieve herself.