Girls, Girls, Girls

If you have breasts and attended a Mötley Crüe concert in the '80s, there's a good chance that you had sex with one of, some of, or the entire band. But, ahh, wasn't that the raison d'être for being a rock star during the greatest decade of rock decadence mankind will ever know? To screw every single groupie who stumbled into your dressing room, tour bus, or limo? It certainly was for Vince Neil, which is why, with him hitting town and all, we thought it a great time to reminisce about days and lays past by chronicling some of the Mötley Crüe frontman's conquests. Unfortunately, said conquests turned out so numerous and so willing to brag about their experience that we had to compile the thousands of participants into a few fictional, though representative women. Enjoy!

Denise Valletta and Ricki Menkel

Denise was working as a fry cook in Kansas City, Missouri, when her boss, Harley, had to leave town for a funeral. He had Crüe concert tickets for the weekend, and offered them to Denise and her coworker, Ricki. As the two women waited in line, "a friend of Vince's" asked Denise, who wasn't wearing a bra, to come backstage for a little "pre-show party." She refused, unless Ricki could come too. These days, Denise is uncomfortable giving many details beyond this, but Ricki explains that Vince asked the girls to do things to each other that led to an awkward work environment afterward. The rocker went onstage immediately following whatever went down, having his people kick Denise and Ricki out the back. Vince doesn't like long goodbyes.

Ashley Simonson

After 90 minutes of signing autographs during an in-store appearance at Record Stop to promote Dr. Feelgood, Vince needed a smoke break. The 19-year-old assistant store manager, a part-time community college student named Ashley, announced this to the rocker's waiting fans. What happened next is something of a legend at the still-independent music store. Long story short, a photograph of Ashley, hunched over a garbage can with Vince behind her, giving the cameraman a thumbs up, still hangs behind the counter. Attaboy, Vince!

Martina and Erin Driscoll

They're not sisters. They're mother and daughter from San Jose, California. Martina's husband, Jeff, moved out when he walked in on Vince with both his beloved wife and stepdaughter. Later, Jeff became a roadie for Vince, who taught him how to make groupies like his ex-wife and stepdaughter work for their rock-star access. Don't ever say Vince doesn't give back to his fans.

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Cole Haddon