Some of the dresses were, how can we put this lightly? They were horrible thrift store nightmares. None but Kelly Rowland's and Florence Welch's were really, totally fantastic.
Here's a rundown of some memorable others:
Katy Perry's exposed tigobitties seemed to violate the "no skin" rules the Grammys set days before the show. And her dress looked like something you could have scored at Wet Seal.
- Adele's dress didn't look like a couch, it looked like something that costs like $500 at Anthropologie. It was charming, but totally unflattering. Estelle did the same look, but better.
- It was as if Brittany Howard of Alabama Shakes was trying to look not cute. Give the glasses a rest for the night. Come on. She kicked ass during the Levon Helm tribute, but you don't gotta look like you're in the Band to sound like it.
- Mavis Staples' getup was just cool as a cuke.
- J Lo couldn't help heaving a naked jamb onstage. She said, "As you can see, I read the memo." And Pitbull replied: "You inspired the memo." That's our girl.
9. Taylor Swift stumbling around the whole Alice in Wonderland show
Dance, woman, dance!!!! She doesn't even saunter well. You don't have to have rhythm to learn how to walk with grace. Up there's her most challenging choreographic move of the night.
8. Men looking like women
Namely: Jack White, Prince, Bruno Mars, Hunter Hayes. It was as if the flesh on their faces was airbrushed. They all looked like beautiful ladies.
Hats off to Jack White for the Nudie suit and for being especially talented, and to Prince for looking like, and being, a goddess.