Sitting outside Revolution Live before the GWAR concert on Saturday night, I thought to myself: Why am I here? If there are two things I fear at a concert, they are: 1. Wet or sticky substances being thrown on me from the stage, and 2. Angry white men.
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Mostly, I fear glitter, and though I knew that wouldn't be a problem, my friend, a seasoned GWAR-goer said something like, "The blood canons shoot pretty far." As far as the angry dude thing, Legacy of Disorder, Cancer Bats, and Devil Driver were getting the boys all frothing at the mouth. So, as a worrier, I was worried.
But then I saw the set list, and the absurd words "baby orgy" and "super Jesus" calmed me completely. I was ready for GWAR. The angry white men suddenly became little giggling boys, and I hid behind them when fluids squirted about.
So, God was there. At the show. He spoke to the audience, telling us that the rapture is true, something about mass murderers kicking GWAR's ass, and that He might have to assume human form to destroy the band. Possibly, God said something about sucking his "motherfucking dick."
Right off the bat, the crew slew Mitt Romney. There was some 47% talk before he lost his head. Red fluid merely sprayed those clamoring for blood in the pit.
