All everyone who never went on a skeezy spring break romp has been talking about lately is the upcoming Harmony Korine film Spring Breakers. The trailer indicates that what you'll find poolside during the first weeks of March in South Florida, is James Franco in a horribly distracting bronze-colored grill, Zac Efron's and Justin Bieber's exes all really psyched about killing, and a whole lotta dubstep.
That last one is probably accurate. But we in Fort La-di-da-di-we-likes-ta-partay know that even though the film makes spring break look a lot more trouble than its worth, it's actually going to define "time of your life."
In reality, spring break is a week of vile, vomit-inducing binge drinking, humping of ugly strangers, and dealing with seriously inflamed, sunburnt flesh. In a word, it's liberating. When you're down here working on your "tan" and "meeting new people," you'll want to know how to barely cover your bum, so we put together a little primer on how to dress like a Fort Lauderdale spring breaker.