How to Make Doomtree's "Wugazi" Mash-Up Album Awesome

A Fugazi and Wu-Tang mash-up album is in the works on Doomtree Records. On paper, the idea makes the 18-year-olds inside of us excited as hell. The name, Wugazi, is clever enough, and the concept leads to some pretty high expectations. I mean, these are two of the most important, innovative acts of the '90s.

The first track so far, "Sleep Rules Everything Around Me," is a bit disappointing, though. It seems like they said to themselves, "Hey, 'C.R.E.A.M.' has a piano part, let's use a Fugazi song with a piano part, and it's done." It ain't bad, it ain't awesome, and Doomtree, you gotta know this has to be awesome. You got a glorious idea on your hands, and well, so far y'all have fallen a little flat.

First of all, this thing has to be layered. We want the guitar part from "Appregiator" on top of the "Da Mystery of Chessboxing" beat, keep the lyrics, swords, and Gladys Knight samples -- throw some of Guy Picciotto's screechiest moans in there too. Put some of Fugazi's "Public Witness Program Lyrics" in there and you are off to a great start.

Another crucial combo needs to be "Bad Mouth" plus "Shame on a Nigga." Thematically, they work together. Fugazi's "talking shit" lyrics with Raekwon's "running game" lyrics as a call and response would fit real nicely.

A combo of Dirt McGurt's "Shimmy Shimmy Ya" with Ian McKaye's "Suggestion" would probably work really well musically. The subject matter would be kind of a train wreck, but it may work out. The O.D.B.'s sex-hungry swag combined with The Iza's anti-sexual-abuse sentiments will live awkwardly in the song, as they do in real life, sometimes.

Grab Fugazi chanting "Lockheed! Lockheed! Martin! Marietta!" from "Do You Like Me," add "Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthin' Ta Fuck Wit," and throw the excellent lead dueling lead guitars from "Bed for the Scraping" in there and this shit will be awesome.

A few more tips -- delete every verse by Inspectah Deck and U-God. Use lots and lots of Ghostface and Raekwon. We also hope they use McKaye and Picciotto's voices as lead vocals in some songs -- imagine "Waiting Room" over the "Clan in the Front" bass line. Again, this thing has so much potential. We'll be patient boys, Doomtree. But don't leave us hanging on this.

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