How to Survive the Fort Lauderdale Bus Loop on April 14 | County Grind | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida


How to Survive the Fort Lauderdale Bus Loop on April 14

Last August, I

braved the Fort Lauderdale bus loop, and despite a massive hangover,

I lived to tell about it. And I became a better woman for it, as well

as learned several lessons about life in the process. As the next bus loop approaches, I've decided to share my knowledge and bus-looping expertise with future riders.

On Saturday, April 14, the Fort Lauderdale bus loop returns, traveling

around to such bars as Bourbon on 2nd, Lucky's Tavern, YOLO, and

America's Backyard. But this event isn't just about drinking; it's

about giving back in the name of charity. So get those livers ready, open your wallets, and take a peek at the survival guide so you don't puke on your trolley-seat neighbor.

5. Arrive early.
Folks, I know it's a Saturday night and everybody wants to get started later in the night or show up fashionably late. But the bus loop just isn't that type of event. The bars can run out of free booze pretty early on, and the trolleys get extremely packed as the night continues. Plus, if you show up early, that means you get to drink for a helluva lot longer, right?

4. Wear comfortable and casual clothes.
OK, we know it's a night out on the town, and you might meet the love of your life (God forbid) while riding around drunkenly on the bus loop. But let's get real about this situation. First and foremost, you don't want to meet your husband (or wife) on the bus loop; you want to go home with someone who is easily forgettable. And trust me when I say you will probably leave the bus loop not remembering a damned thing. Leave the heels and flashy dresses at home. Throw on a cute sundress or shorts and a tank top and some comfortable shoes. Drinks will spill on you, and sweating will occur. Better to be safe than running to your dry-cleaner all hungover. Also, you might want to pick up an ironic fanny pack. Keep those hands free for drinking, and you won't lose your bus loop card.

3. Purchase your tickets in advance.
This event sells out quicker than you think. People love to drink for free, especially when it's for a good cause. You can purchase tickets on the bus loop site and save yourself $5 while doing so. Don't be that friend who shows up with the group and can't get a ticket.

2. Load up on the carbs.
There is nothing worse than (a) getting drunk too quickly and (b) vomiting on a trolley because of it. Eat pasta, bread, or any sort of heavy food that will enable you to hold that liquor a bit better than on St. Patty's Day. Yes, we're all in it to win it when it comes to free booze, but puking up on that stranger next to you just won't be a good look. You never know, he (or she) might be "the one" you wanted to take home.

1. Take a cab, or find a sober driver.
Don't be stupid. Free booze is a lot of fun, but a DUI is not. Bonus: Free admission for any designated drivers.

Bonus tip: Go for free beer and not the free liquor.
While free liquor is good, it's usually bottom-shelf. Opt for the beer and you won't have to worry about puking. 

Fort Lauderdale Bus Loop. 6 p.m. Saturday, April 14, Check in at YOLO, 333 E. Las Olas Blvd. $20 advance, $25 at the door. Click here.

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Betsey Denberg

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