Talking Shit

Idol Elimination Recap: See You in the Supermarket, Stefano

Yesterday, I wrongly predicted that Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, and Stefano Langone would find themselves in Idol's bottom three last night. In fact, it was Lusk, Langone, and Haley Reinhart. But I correctly predicted Langone would be the one sent packing. I'm seldom so pleased to have been right.

See ya, Stefano. His blandly earnest romanticism makes for ideal supermarket music, a little narcotic squeeze to the eardrums to keep us behaved in the checkout line. It was unthinkable that America would pick him over Lusk (who, while obnoxious, has one of the all-time great freaky voices) or Reinhart (whose performance of "Rolling in the Deep" was more musically accomplished and emotionally raw than Adele's admirable original). Seacrest seemed to feel especially bad about Reinhart sitting in the bottom three -- he sent her back to the couches after about 60 seconds.

Stefano Langone's dismissal and subsequent spirited performance of Stevie Wonder's "Lately" (see above) were the only pleasing moments in an otherwise grim show.

Results shows are seldom great occasions for music, and this one was

worse than usual. Katy Perry gave her aggressively stupid "E.T." an

adequate run-through, and former Idol champ David Cook premiered a

purely by-the-numbers single that nobody will remember in six months.

Hell, I can't even remember it now, and it's only the next morning.

Meanwhile, contestants, awaiting news of their fates, did horrid,

underrehearsed, and toothless versions of "Hey Soul Sister" and "Viva la

Vida," while previously eliminated contestants attempted to sing Pink's

"So What," which went a long way toward easing our consciences about

giving them the boot in the first place.

Next week: Songs of Carole King. I've got a horrible feeling that Haley's going home.

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Brandon K. Thorp