It would appear that while those quirky Middle Eastern miscreants in Iran were busy splitting atoms and generally trying to figure out a way to bring upon the nuclear apocalypse, someone managed to sneak some malware into their computer systems. Now, while we find the thought of any sort of malicious software worming through the Nuclear Energy Organization of Iran's computers as hilarious as it is absolutely horrifying, this little bugger had a twist: it played AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" at full volume through several of the plant's computers. In the middle of the night.
Did we mention that it was at full volume?
Punishing the bastard child of the U.S. sponsored Atoms for Peace program of the 1950s with some AC/DC is an incredible concept. We, though, as music dorks and patriots, can't help but offer a list of some alternative soundtrack options to these intrepid hackers creating such a delightful twist on the old "hacking the nuclear research facility of one of the most unhinged countries on the face of the earth" bit.
So, if you're reading this -- yes, you in the Guy Fawkes mask -- please don't think our suggestions are rude, we're only trying to do our part to help enrich the musical tastes of Iranian scientists, while they enrich uranium. So don't hack us, bro.
5. Power Trip - "Armageddon Blues"
Both band name and song title work really well to highlight the impending World War III Iranian politicians have been planning, deep in the bowels of whatever unholy bunker they reside.
The scream that opens this song is enough to wake any nuclear scientist out of a sound sleep. This band is also apt to blow-up big time (pun intended) over the next few months, as they've become a standard bearer of the new era of thrash-crossover bands.
4. Discharge - "Doomsday"
Yes, we know that Discharge has a song with the word "nuclear" in its title, but this is definitely a better track. And if that guitar solo doesn't wig you out in the middle of the Iranian night, nothing will.
3. Killing Joke - "Nuclear Boy"
This deeper cut from the always dominant Killing Joke makes the cut mostly because of its title. However, it is a cool rarity from a group that has always had something to say about the state of world affairs.
2. Janaza - "Burn the Pages of Quran"
This Iraqi based musical project has earned a serious amount of attention lately. Janaza applies the tried and true black metal method of being as blasphemous as humanly possible, as the title so delicately implies. While we don't necessarily share the extreme views of Janaza, we can't help but be intrigued by a one woman, Iraqi, black metal act. And this song would ruin anyone's night if played unexpectedly at full volume.
1. Sun Ra - "Nuclear War"
This exceptionally groovy track calls and responds its way through the fear of an impending nuclear war. While the laid-back vibe of the music sort of betrays the urgency of the message, we feel it may well be the perfect song to convert Iranian nuclear tinkerers to more noble lines of work. Perhaps one that won't force us all to ponder what exactly we gonna do about our collective asses if someday they do "push the button."