Talking Shit

Lady Boner Letters: Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum

Remember reading magazines like Tiger Beat and Bop? Week after week, you'd thumb through the pages, ripping out photos of cute musicians to paste into your binders. And sometimes -- if you were feeling really brave -- you'd send a fan letter or two or three to your heartthrob, hoping for some sort of reply. Well, here on the County Grind, we've decided to bring that teenaged tradition back.


The '90s were great for band crushes. Cobain, Vedder, Reznor... hell, even Billy Corgan had us batting our lashes. And then there was Dave Pirner, the scraggly haired, unassuming Soul Asylum frontman. He was sort of like the Jordan Catalano of grunge music. Simply put, he gave us a lady boner.

Dear Dave Pirner,

It's been awhile since we've received any news about you, last we heard you were living in New Orleans. Word on the street is you're getting the ol' band back together. Is that true? It has been six years since the last album... don't you think it's time for a new one? We certainly do.

A certain question is absolutely eating away at our hearts -- did you actually date Courtney Love? She once told Kurt Cobain that he looked like you. Can you believe that? You definitely have better eyes. We're still a little mad about Winona; that relationship was a bitter pill for us to swallow. Do you still speak to her? That five-finger-discounting bitch. Whenever the "Just Like Anyone" video comes on, we get a little jealous of Claire Danes. We'd give anything to have wings implanted in our backs if it meant catching your eye.

No, but seriously, where have you been hiding all this time? Is it your wife? We've got our fingers crossed that you leave her to hop on a train and run away with us. We can change our names and live secretly, without a trace. 

We just want to be the misery to your company.


Soul Asylum, 8 p.m., Friday, March 16, at the Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale. Tickets cost $25. More info here.



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Betsey Denberg