Audio By Carbonatix
Miley Cyrus has been living it up lately. She’s got a cute blonde lessie ‘do, she’s been chilling with Miami-native, porn star Jessie Andrews, and smooching on horses. And it’s all because of this new Borgore video.
The three are featured raving out with a goat and bunch of cakes in the video for “Decisions.” Cyrus’ voice is featured on the song which the Israeli dubstepper wrote for his then girlfriend Andrews. The main thing you’re meant to take away from this video is “bitches love cake.” If that’s the case, then call us a bitches.
What follows are 10 choice moments from this visually satisfying music video.
The inspiration.
8. Unicorns and bayonets We feel bad for hating this horse as much as this horse hates its own life.
7. Lollipop guildMidgets, again? Sorry. Little people, again? We thought TLC’s Little People Big World taught us not only that you can be a douche even if you’re like three feet tall, but also that we’re all humans. Leave little people alone!
6. PervertsTalk about taking a euphemism and making it actual. These two spend a good 33 seconds sploshing in the video. Yuck.
5. Good to eatNothing says fun like a goat in a club! That poor mammal.
4. These guysYes, you can see a messy bit of Hanna Montana’s rack. Oddly, all this made us realize is that she made a mid-night costume change (click on).
3. No, thank you. I’m not hungrySomething about these guys’ faces made us lose our appetites. Or maybe it’s their music.
2. Again… too muchSo, if in one sense, a “cake” is a woman’s, you know, why is is this one, do we have to say it? Why is this one bloody? Ahhhh! (Note costume change.)
1. EquusYou also feel bad for missing out on seeing Harry Potter bareback on the London stage. Maybe this’ll make up for it?
Maybe not.
