Oh Cana-DUH: Five of Fucked Up's Best North-of-the-Border Neighbors

Canada has plenty of things to get excited about. Progressive thoughts, children who do not dream of welfare checks, education, health care, excellent beer, RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNERSHIP. Canada rules! In celebration of the snowbirds in Fucked Up making Churchill's their home for one night; here are five Canadian outfits that have made this lowly scribe happy for many, many years!

And before we continue, I've purposely excluded the McRackins, King Khan and the BBQ Show, Gus, and Propagandhi for the obvious reasons. Fuck it. I've been enjoying frosty Labatt Blues and La Fin du Mondes all night. Huzzah! Breaking news: Fucked Up's "blog" entry for playing Churchill's is: "meh." Let's make them regret that.

More "love" for the frigid north after the jump!

05. DOA: Perhaps the smartest punk band ever? I shithead? Maybe and rightly so. These guys make Bad Religion, the Dead Kennedys, and Crass look like hangers-on. But with an extreme Canadian politeness that defies politeness. Figure that one out. Ey? Or "hey?" Or "aboot" or "alroot."

04. NoMeansNo: Never mind, the smarter punkers are the gents in NoMeansNo. Gently defying the norm for many a decade. Eat that, Thatcher! Oh wait! Who's in charge in Canada anyways?!

03. Dayglo Abortions: If the name doesn't sell you... and I'm talking about their innate good manners, then you should've been aborted. It's not too late. Abortion's a viable option until the age of 40. Ha! Proud to be a Canuck! (In the asshole).

02. Subhumans: The word intransigents is defined by the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary as "free-loading pharmaceutical American." Gerry "Useless" Hannah served five years of polite Canadian jail for allegedly robbing an armored truck and possessing a weapon that put American interests in jeopardy. But as a white person, he will never be demonized by Central Florida churches who hate Islam. Catchy punk, though!

01. Rush: These guys get on this list because the Young Ones alum Adrian Edmonson branded their T-shirt through many an episode of the ground-breaking BBC show juxtaposed with his "very metal" denim cut-off punker vest. Eat shit if you don't like the feminine vocals.

The nimbly-mimby Canucks of Fucked Up! will perform with the Awesome Jacuzzi Boys and Neon Blud on Tuesday, September 14, at 9 p.m. at Churchill's, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $15. Call 305-757-1807, or visit

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Abel Folgar