You're standing in the '80s rock concert parking lot of proverb. To your left, a black Pontiac Trans-Am rocks gently back and forth to the horrifyingly gentle rhythm of date rape taking place within its T-topped bowels. To your right, your buddy finishes his Schlitz, crushes the can on his forehead, and poses the following question:
1) Michael Anthony is the most underrated member of the original Van Halen lineup! His rock-solid bass playing is what kept the Van Halen ship afloat when captain Eddie was busy putting the ED in shred, and those super-specific backup vocals we all know and love from classic songs like "Jamie's Cryin'" depend almost entirely on his high harmony, one of the reasons he was brought onboard in the first place.
2) He has awesome toys. Michael collects one-off hot rods and speed boats and is now a partner in car accessory company Bonspeed. The only thing David Lee Roth could drive is women crazy... 25 years ago.
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3) He loves to eat hot food and, more important, hot sauce and has an award-winning line of sauces out under the name Mad Anthony's. I've personally tried it, and I have to say, it blows Joe Perry of Aerosmith's Boneyard Brew away. His catch phrasing is better as well, including the gem "So hot, you'll need two assholes."
4) He's sponsored by Jack Daniels. Literally.