Paparazzi Creepoids Catch Justin Bieber Hooking Up with Ex Selena Gomez | County Grind | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

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Paparazzi Creepoids Catch Justin Bieber Hooking Up with Ex Selena Gomez

Early this morning, TMZ released photos that implied barely legal pop stars (and former couple), Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, have been engaging in the ancient rite of break-up sex. 

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According to County Grind's pubertous calculations, this (alleged) coital rendezvous is right on schedule. 

See, Le Bieb has been up to all sortsa playa shit, like flirting with hoochies, committing minor moving violations in an exorbitantly expensive car, and live-Tweeting his hot-to-trot bachelor escapades. So right about now is the vertiginous moment when, after taking a brisk walk on the wild side, it's time this ex-(and maybe future?)-couple conducted a good, ol' fashioned, emotionally disorienting booty call. 

None of this is shocking. It's called life. What's weird is that the content cannibals over at TMZ can't seem to stop hanging on to Bieber's every last turd. And/or boner. 

Yo, how would you like it if you're already embroiled in the whirlwind psychosis of confused crying and immeasurably, smoldering hot sex with yer ex, and then have to deal with some paparazzi creepoid crouched in a bush across the street, with one hand on his camera and the other repositioning his butt-plug?

Furthermore, this is not even footage of them hooking up. Or like a dirty sexting transcript that was intercepted by one of the gossip site's Illuminati-ish sentinel moles monitoring cell phone satellites.

No, TMZ has provided the world an exclusive look at... Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez entering and exiting the same building at different times over the course of 24 hours.

Hey, for all we know they could have been talking it out! Breaking up is hard to do, bro. And sometimes you have to spend an entire night talking in circles and oscillating between a desire to off yourself or the person you ostensibly love.

Ah, who are we kidding. They probably filmed a sex tape. 

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Matt Preira

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