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Rick Ross' God Forgives, I Don't Release Party on August 4; Things to Consider Before Making It Rain at King of Diamonds

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Book a Table in Advance
You are not Lil Wayne or LeBron James. This means you can't just walk into KoD and expect that slow-motion-sunglasses-on-cash-drizzling-on-you treatment. You are not special, meaning you need to book a table a week ahead of time just like everybody else who listens to 99 Jamz. Contact 954-504-1381 for table reservations. 


Create a KoD Mix for the Ride Over
We're nerds here at County Grind, so what better way to get buck before a night at the strip club than to compile a mixtape of your favorite strip-club tunes? Depending on where you live, this might be a long drive, so soundtrack it. Start it off with DJ Laz's "She Can Get It" and throw in some Trina "Red Bottoms" to get the night started the SoFla way. Sprinkle in a Hot Boys track ("We on Fire" or "I Need a Hot Girl," preferably) and then finish it off with Lady's "Twerk It." By the time you park next to the two Brinks trucks in the parking lot, you're ready for some bobbies in your face. 

Deciding the Right Moment to Slap Bills on Booties
We mentioned earlier about saving up your cash for that badass "make it rain" moment. Well, the next step to consider is when exactly you should smack those bills from your palm onto some lady flesh. This is your moment. Don't waste it. 

One factor to consider really: Make sure the song playing is ratchet-friendly. You want something along the lines of "Round of Applause" or "MakeIit Rain." Getting wild to "Lotus Flower Bomb" is lame, because nothing about Wale says "titty bar." 


Don't Tell Rick Ross How Much You Love Rich Forever
Like a good Floridian, you know all the lines to "Stay Schemin" and "Triple Beam Dreams," but chill the fuck out. Rick Ross won't appreciate your drooling all over him with your Pissed Jeans T-shirt waxing on about how Rich Forever is the best record you heard all year. Save your geek moment for when you run into him at Wingstop or something.

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Ryan Morejon