Rihanna's Sexy Text Messages to Robert Pattinson: A Sneak Peek | County Grind | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

Talking Shit

Rihanna's Sexy Text Messages to Robert Pattinson: A Sneak Peek

See also:
Robert Pattinson's Drunk Texts Messages to Kristen Stewart: A Sneak Peek
Chris Brown and Rihanna, Together Again?

Robert Pattinson may not be spending many more cold, lonely nights in his bed. At least, not if Rihanna has anything to do about it. According to OK! Magazine, RiRi got his digits from a mutual friend postbreakup and has been sending funny, sexy texts to cheer him up. Apparently, she always thought he was cute but never made any moves because it's not her style to steal someone else's man. However, sexting the heartbroken party before the wounds even have time to heal is an all-right move in her playbook.

We already know she's no stranger to throwing in a nude pic via text, so we can only imagine what the scandalous singer has been sending to the vampire's celly. Since none of these alleged texts has been released to us, the rabidly curious public, we created our own list of texts that Rihanna might have sent Robert Pattinson.

Text Message 1: "So, where have you been all my life?"

Text Message 2: "Fifty Shades of Grey?! Have you seen my "S&M" video?"

Text Message 3: "Does everything sparkle?"

Text Message 4: "You be Eric and I'll be Sookie? :-E" 

Text Message 5: [Insert photo of RiRi wearing nothing but plastic fangs]

Text Message 6: "I've never been much for werewolves. I'm more of a fangbanger." 

Text Message 7: "Wanna be the Rude Boy in my California King Bed?"

Text Message 8: "How about we reenact some of those scenes from Cosmopolis?" 

Text Message 9: "We should have our own private party after the VMAs on Sunday. I'll bring the bloody marys, you bring the sparkle." 

Text Message 10: "My album isn't titled Good Girl Gone Bad for no reason. ;)" 

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Betsey Denberg

Latest Stories