If you only heard snippets of the profanity-laced open letters Sinead O'Connor wrote to Miley Cyrus and you typed into Google "Sinead O'Connor open letter," you would discover the former Hannah Montana is not the only person the Irish chanteuse has slammed in an open forum. In the past couple of years, Sinead O'Connor has written an open letter to Pope Benedict XVI and Trayvon Martin (who at the time was already dead) and as of this writing has already penned two open letters to her royal twerkness.
This left us wondering what other open letters Ms. O'Connor might have sent out recently. After some intense hacking, we found the following letters saved in Sinead's computer in Microsoft Word format.
Dear Daft Punk,
While I admire your songs with their danceable disco beats, I must say I am offended that you dress up as robots. Do you not know the origin of the word robot? It comes from the Czech language and means forced labor. Forced laborers do not "get lucky." They are forced to work in the hot sun and rarely get to dance, if ever. You should know better than to behave so insensitively. Below is a link to images of forced children laborers. It will make you wish to hide your heads, your robot heads.
Dear Lady Gaga,
Where should I begin? How about with: Guns kill. Even guns pasted on to your brassiere. You should be aware that actions have consequences especially when those actions are made by a famous singer. I'm a famous singer too. Maybe we can work together and some of my ethics and morality will rub off on you. Call me, not maybe. Just call me (that's you who sings that, right?)
Dear Kim Kardashian,
If I was going to call Miley Cyrus a prostitute, you think I'd let you off easy when your only claim to fame is a fucking sex tape? At least she put out some music, you hag, so I can criticize you for that. What's that, you did put out a single? I'm sure it's bloody awful just like you. Take some motherly advice and piss off.
Up your arse,
I tried writing this in 140 characters, but kept getting cut off in the middle of key words. Regardless I have noticed much of the abbreviations in tweets are derived from my hit song Nothing Compares 2 U. Did you not notice the abbreviations I bloody used? The same ones all your users do every time they want to make more efficient use of "to" or "you." I hear your stock is going public. I expect you will do the right thing and issue me some shares in the company for being a positive influence.
Dear Postmaster General,
I have been sending many open letters over the last weeks and months and am getting less and less of a response with each one. I spend a lot of time on these letters and I know people care about what I have to say because I had a hit song 23 years ago. This makes me an expert on all things under the sun so I know people are writing me letters of support. Tell your postal workers to get out of the pub and deliver me my mail.
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