Music News

Six Other Reasons Orlando Bloom Might Punch Justin Bieber

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6. Justin somehow made his visit to the Anne Frank House about him.

In March of 2013, Bieber went to Amsterdam. After likely getting a good taste of the legal hookers and weed, he decided a visit to the Anne Frank House would be proper. Upon leaving the young diarist's former home and hideout from the Nazis, Biebs signed the guestbook with what could have been lyrics to an unfinished song: "Truly inspiring to be able to come here/Anne was a great girl."

His grand gesture ended on an optimistic, albeit narcissistic, note, "Hopefully, she would have been a Belieber," he scribbled. Maybe that's how he thinks "believer" is actually spelled? Or maybe Justin just deserves a knuckle sandwich for this one.

5. Justin peed publicly into a bucket.

Sometime in June 2013, the singer of "One Less Lonely Girl" peed in a restaurant mop bucket in front of a bunch of dudes. We stand in solidarity with the custodial staff working that night.

Next, the Biebs yelled, "Fuck Bill Clinton," even though the singer is Canadian and should keep his trap shut about Bubba. This kid knows nothing. His balls didn't drop by the time Clinton left office. In response, we believe Americans should uniformly take to calling Canadian bacon "ham."

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Anthony Hernandez