Remember that time you came back from college one weekend to find the interior of your mom's suburban home transformed into a porno set, a couple of naked amateurs straddled over the granite kitchen counter tops?
Or the time you visited your friend's trendy new loft apartment in Fat Village for a couple casual cocktails, only to spend the entire evening stealing glimpses of the porno shoot going down in the loft across the courtyard through a pair of old binoculars?
What about the time you were walking your dog down your neighborhood street when you could have sworn you saw the Bang Bros van drive by?
Let's face it: Porn is everywhere, and especially here in South Florida, where an abundance of gays, swingers, soccer moms, and other crafty entrepreneurs all have a hand in the lucrative pot that is the business of sex.
As one of the industry's highest profile events, the EXXXotica Expo, descends upon Fort Lauderdale this weekend, we can't help but let our imaginations run wild with X-rated thoughts of porn stars and die-hard sex enthusiasts running amok all over our great city.
To quell our naughty thoughts, we thought it best to just let them all out and have you, our readers, partake in the fantasies. So, here it is, a list of Fort Lauderdale porno scenes we think ought to be. Don't worry, in the name of good taste (and avoiding any legal action), we'll keep it soft core.
Night at the Museum: Discovering Her Science
It's nighttime on the riverfront, and Tommy has something really special planned for Jenna, the petite lab assistant he's been crushing on for months. It's her birthday, they've got the whole Museum of Discovery and Science to themselves, and Tommy's ready to finally seal the deal.
Things heat up on the Serengeti as the couple becomes enveloped in the total sensory explosion that is the IMAX movie experience. Tommy shows Jenna his snake under the sexy red light of the reptile room before the adventure finally reaches its peak in the Runways to Rockets exhibit, where they climb aboard a flight simulator and blast off into the pleasureverse.
Bladez n' Gloryholes
Sandy and Amber love rollerblading down the Fort Lauderdale Beach boardwalk while scoping out all the tan, buff bros playing paddle ball by the surf. Growing parched from the hot sun and even hotter beach bods, the girls roll over to Blondies, where they chug a few ice cold Bud Lights before heading back past the arcade games to the little girls' room. That's when things get interesting...