Snoop Hits Blunt, Drops Beats at Awkward Sakred Nightclub Grand Opening

“The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry...”

On the same night as Game 6 of the NBA Finals, Lana Del Rey at Coral Sky Amphitheatre, and a Tuesday of all days, Sakred Nightclub held its official grand opening in Boca Raton. Perhaps that's why despite boasting beloved rapper, pop culture icon, and obsessed Instagramer, Snoop Dogg, attendance at the club was somewhat disappointing.

Then again, there may just be, about Sakred. Located in a shopping plaza, below a bank (the entrance is right next to the security guard's desk inside the bank building) right away erases any sort of exclusivity the club may want to demonstrate. Indeed, that must be one their goals seeing as how two-thirds of the already small, or “intimate,” club itself is taken up by roped off VIP areas. Working the bars inside are men in vests and ties and women with leotards so far up their asses they can taste the fabric. They also provided another visual treat with sparklers embedded into the tops of purchased bottles. The bartenders/Olympic gymnasts delivered them with flammable theatrics through the crowd to the overburdened VIP areas.

As for the clientele, it was a bizarre mix of people to say the least. There were the hipsters who got lost on their way to the thrift shop, the crowd of retired gangsters smoking cigars (and a few other things), at least two couples near the stage who may have been having sex, and the unexpected number of middle-aged folks who would have looked more at home at Chili's happy hour than a hip, new nightclub. The dress code was, well, there wasn't one. Shorts, Kangaroo hats, t-shirts, book bags, it was all good. Plus, no one was dancing. Aside from one dude breaking it down like a thinner version of Turtle from Entourage, people were just mostly standing around. It was sadder than a middle school Sadie Hawkins dance.

Then again, they were probably just waiting for the evening's star DJ, Snoopadelic. And wait we did. He was supposed to take the main stage at 11, but didn't actually appear until about 12:30 – only a few minutes after the Golden State Warriors from his native California won the NBA Championship. Coincidence?

In the meantime, the house DJ in his shiny balloon shirt spun a mix of old school classics, which he repeatedly interrupted during the good parts to shout at the crowd, “Are you ready for Snoop?!” about a dozen times with no sign of the Doggfather. One of the genuinely cool and original things Sakred did was to hire two artists to paint portraits live on stage. One was of Snoop, of course, and the other was of Tupac Shakur, in remembrance of him on what would have been his 44th birthday.

By the time some minor microphone issues were resolved and Snoop Dogg got behind the laptop, the crowd was ready. Ready to...actually, they kept standing around, except now everyone had out their phones. It was a concert crowd hoping for a mini-concert, but that wasn't to be. Sure, Snoop sung along here and there between dancing and taking hits from a blunt, but that was it.

Sakred must be commended for attempting a big, splashy opening event, but it just wasn't meant to be. Perhaps they'll fare better going forward.
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Angel Melendez is an unabashed geek and a massive music nerd who happens to write words (and occasionally take photos) for Miami New Times. A graduate of Florida Atlantic University and an accomplished failure at two other universities, Angel is a lush and an insufferable know-it-all, and has way better taste in music than you. His wealth of useless knowledge concerning bands, film, and Batman is matched only by his embarrassingly large collection of Hawaiian shirts and onesies.
Contact: Angel Melendez