"I'm sick of being haunted by every cliché that I know
," moans Rock Star Supernova
victor Lukas Rossi in "Be Yourself (and 5 Other Clichés)." What a way to sum up this as-seen-on-TV abomination which couldn't come up with a less obvious name for its opening track than "It's On." Eight nondescript songs later, Rossi makes another accidental self-appraisal: "It's so predictable/I'm so invisible
." He's at best transparent as the too-serious singer for this supergroup of aging hard rockers. While Jason Newsted (Metallica), Gilby Clarke (Guns N' Roses), and Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe) play their instruments well enough, they make no sense together. The record's 11 songs are neither modern nor retro. The occasional decent riff or vocal melody serves as the only distinction among any of it. Of course, they sound good good in the way that the hyper-produced product of a contrived television contest must. In the end, Rock Star Supernova delivers just what one would expect: a vacant carapace. Whether its masterminds assumed we wouldn't notice or just wouldn't care, it's an affront to rock 'n' roll.
Rock Star Supernova performs at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, January 16, at Hard Rock Live, 5747 Seminole Way, Hollywood. Tickets cost $45 to $65. Call 954-523-3309, or visit www.ticketmaster.com.