The pair finally reach their destination inside the Haunted Mansion, where they are ushered into the room with the "stretching walls."
Freese grins and asks, "You want to know something scary? I can recite every single word of this."
He's not kidding. "Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host — your Ghost Host," he begins, reciting the same speech playing overhead in time. "Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmmm?" People around him are staring. "And consider this dismaying observation: This chamber has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!"
Freese lets out a maniacal laugh.
"Of course, there's always my way," he finishes.
Afterward, Freese reveals that from 1985 through 1987, he probably made out with more 13- and 14-year-old girls than anyone else in the world while in the Haunted Mansion.
"My whole summers were spent at the Haunted Mansion," he says with a laugh. "Let's put it this way: My first groupie experience was in the Haunted Mansion. I'll go on the record with that."
But the rumor that he got a blowjob in '87 on the monorail? Not true, Freese says.
Freese's flippant marketing tactic has everyone from fans and nonfans to marketing execs and other professional musicians talking.
"Josh is irreverent and perceptive and punk in his music and his marketing," says Gossard. "His creative energies are so vast, he's having fun with all aspects of his music and how people get interested in it." Gossard later retracts this quote, thinking it way too serious and emails a possible alternate: "That little punk-ass bitch is cracking me up. Shit, I love Josh Freese."
Mark Mothersbaugh, composer/artist/Devo frontman, also admires his bandmate: "Josh may be the first artist to go beyond talking about it and finally figure out how to sculpt the 'new business model' to really work, letting the internet and technology complement and enhance his own sense of humor and expression in a truly original and honest way that is ultimately attractive to fans and converts alike, appealing to their own personal interest for interaction. I'm seriously jealous."
In addition to his peers, publicists and strangers have approached Freese, confessing they hung their heads in shame for not thinking up a similar scheme first. "Of course, I want to make money. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't," Freese says. "But it's not only about the money. There's plenty of easier ways to make money, but especially now, at a time when the whole record industry is kind of scratching its head and chasing its tail and is like, 'What are we going to do? How are we going to do something different?' Even if [the packages aren't] great, the fact that it's different makes it great. Everybody's freaked out, and then I came up with this thing that was so different that made everyone behind their desks have a laugh."
Freese says the success of the fan packages is in getting to see the result — what he had hoped to achieve had been done without the help of a street team or having to hire a staff. "I got the word out, and whether people bought it or not, people forwarded it to all their friends and said, 'Hey, have you seen this?' "
Freese is keeping busy with what remains of the fan packages — he has a couple of lunches left to do this summer, and he's working on writing those songs for Mrzyglocki and Al-Sayed's respective purchases. He's got a new record, Dirty Mature, coming out, which will include "all of the weird instrumental songs" that serve as the soundtrack to Freese's homemade videos at YouTube.com/joshfreese. He is scheduled to do one-off shows with Devo, Sting, and the Vandals in the coming months and will embark on a two-month tour with Weezer in August. He'll also work with Devo on their first new record in almost 20 years.
There are even whispers of a possible reality show being shopped around, centered on these fan packages and Freese nearly losing his mind trying to incorporate them into his schedule as a highly sought-after session drummer.
But don't worry: He's still got that same cheery attitude, remaining grateful for the opportunity, his career, and the exposure.