Ten Baby Name Suggestions for Victoria & David Beckham

Former Spice Girl Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and footballer husband David Beckham just announced they're expecting their fourth baby the way most stars announce major life moments these days -- via Twitter. This will be the fourth baby for the Beckhams who already have sons Brooklyn, Cruz and Romeo. Since celebrities don't name their children actual baby names but fruit, towns and houseplants, we've come up with a list of ten name ideas for wee baby Beckham. Let's hope this kid has round-the-clock security guards.

Pluto Beckham - Pluto was the Roman God of war, though Pluto is better known as a planet wanna-be and Mickey Mouse's dog.

Titus Beckham - Looks like the Beckhams are fans of Shakespeare. Romeo's been done so many times. Why not try a Shakespearian name that hasn't been used so often. In the play Titus Andronicus (also there's that great band with the same name), Titus exacts revenge on his enemy by cooking his enemy's sons and forcing her to eat them. And you thought Shakespeare was boring?

Carambola Beckham - Since Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow named their daughter Apple, a whole new world of naming your baby after fruit opened up. Babies and fruit do have a lot in common -- they both smell really good fresh but stink if they get too ripe! Anyone can name their child banana or grape, but we propose the name Carambola, also aptly named "star fruit".

Tarantula Beckham - While some celebrity names are taken from the animal kingdom (Cat Cora, Tiger Woods), the insect world is wide open. We think Tarantula would make a pretty excellent name for a boy or a girl.

Roswell Beckham - With her huge head, gigantic boobs and size 0 body, there has been constant speculation about Victoria "Posh Spice" -- like how did she manage to squeeze three kids out of that body, is she a space alien? Take a nice, semi-androgynous name referring to the New Mexico city that was reportedly the site of a UFO crash in the 1940s, and you've got a winner.

Stool Beckham - I had a friend named Christopher Pigeon. During some drunken night, I told him that if he ever had a kid, Stool would be a great name. Stool Pigeon, get it? I still stand by the name Stool - great for a boy or a girl.

Bushwick Beckham - Since the Beckhams like New York's coolest borough so much they named a son after it, they'll love the trendier and more urban Bushwick. If they're looking for street cred, the name Bushwick has all manners of crime, poverty and rat infestation -- although gentrification could shift his status upward by his teenage years. Plus, Bushwick Beckham just sounds cool.

Princess Buttercup Beckham- Like most English (and American) girls, Victoria Beckham greatly admired Princess Diana. While Diana is a nice name, it's been done. If Victoria has a girl, she should name her Princess Buttercup Beckham, after the heroine in The Princess Bride. Maybe Inigo Montoya could be Godfather instead of Elton John, this time.

Baller Beckham - It's what every soccer player is called. If David and Victoria have another boy, why not name him something to encourage him to get into the family business, though not so great to impress the chicks.

Beverly Hills Beckham - Beverly Hills welcomed Posh Spice with open arms. Besides, it worked for that Chihuahua movie.

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss