The human body is an amazing biological machine. You can try your damnedest to irreversibly damage its every last cell by subjecting it to a sleepless six-day Winter Music Conference spree of ass-pounding party music, 36-hour dancing blackouts, and a diet consisting of Red Bull, vodka, and miscellaneous pharmacological products. But still, it bounces back.
Suddenly, your brain snaps out of its alcohol-related amnesia, reboots, and sends out an emergency order to the adrenal glands for mass amounts of epinephrine. Your eyes uncross. Your facial muscles stop twitching. And within 15 minutes, you're ready to crash the megaclubs again.
So welcome to week two of WMC. Here are ten party picks.
Electric Beach. With Harry "Choo Choo" Romero, Tom Novy, Satoshie Tomie, Junior Sanchez, Donald Glaude, and more. Noon Thursday, March 10, at Nikki Beach, 1 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach; 305-538-1111; nikkibeach.com. Tickets cost $40 via wantickets.com. There are a couple of reasons why this particular beach party is the best way to kick off your second round of WMC insanity: (1) Several hours of sand dancing in the blazing South Florida sun will help burn off any residual toxins from last week's black market pill binge, and (2) a midday throwdown led by a guy named Choo Choo will never be boring.
DJ Snoopadelic. With Ross One. 11 p.m., Thursday, March 10, at Liv, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $60 via wantickets.com. Everyone knows there ain't nothin' like a gangsta party. But is it still a gangsta party when you're dropping tabs and disco dancing inside a superglossy SoBe club like Liv? As long as Snoop Dogg (AKA DJ Snoopadelic) is the one manning the decks, we say, "Yes."
The Official International Dance Music Awards Afterparty. With Black Coffee & Bucie, Dave Aude, Lee Dagger, Risk Soundsystem, Dunn Easy, and Zakes. 11 p.m. Thursday, March 10, at Dolce, 1501 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-672-2221; dolcesouthbeach.com. General admission tickets cost $15, and VIP passes cost $50 via wantickets.com. It's a fact that award shows suck. So rather than shelling out $45 just to fall asleep halfway through the ceremony, save your scratch for the afterparty. You'll still get to toast the night's big winners and high-five a few famous peeps like Diplo, Mark Farina, and Crystal Waters. Plus, the headliner is South African DJ Black Coffee, the world-record holder for longest set ever (60 hours!), so you know this party's gonna be pretty epic.
Nervous Records Presents Made in Miami. With Oscar G, Ralph Falcon, Patrick M, Behrouz, Lazaro Casanova, and more. Noon Friday, March 11, at the Shelborne Beach Resort's pool, 1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-1271; shelborne.com. Tickets cost $40 via wantickets.com. Are you a house head who's head over heels for brainy homegrown bangers? Well, get ready for your WMC dream date, 'cause the Shelborne's Made in Miami meetup features a superstar threesome you will never forget: Oscar G and the return of Murk with Ralph Falcon and Patrick M. You've been waiting all year for this moment. And it's finally here.
Markus Schulz. With Wally Lopez, David Tort, Desyn Masiello, Camea, Robert Dietz, and more. 11 p.m. Friday, March 11, at Space, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-375-0001; clubspace.com. Tickets cost $40 to $50 via wantickets.com. After spending the entire day — and pretty much the past couple of weeks — shaking ass out on South Beach, you could really use a vacation. And by vacation, we obviously mean a trip to the mainland to party with German trance master Markus Schulz at the house that Louis Puig built.
Get Wet Pool Party. With Boris and Chus & Ceballos. 11 a.m. Saturday, March 12, at Surfcomber Hotel, 1717 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-7715; surfcomber.com. Tickets cost $25 to $65 via wantickets.com. Like the beach party, a day of debauchery at the pool is an absolute must for any WMC marathoner. And for years, the Surfcomber's splashy two-day free-for-all has been the marquee party of its kind. So go get wet with Boris and Chus & Ceballos this Saturday. And then double back Sunday for more watersports with Danny Tenaglia and Friends at the Closing Pool Party.
Cadenza Cruise. With Reboot, Michel Cleis, Robert Dietz, and a special guest. 3 p.m. Saturday, March 12, on the Biscayne Lady yacht, boarding at 401 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-379-5119; biscaynelady.com. Tickets cost $125 via wantickets.com. Put on your captain's hat and button up your birthday suit — it's time to climb aboard the infamous Biscayne Lady for a bacchanal on the bay. Your fellow cruisers will include record execs from Swiss label Cadenza, German beatmeister Reboot, techno expert Michael Cleis, and house hypnotist Robert Dietz. See you on the sky deck!
Paul Van Dyk. With Filo & Peri and Dan Marci. 10 p.m. Saturday, March 12, at Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-1525; mansionmiami.com. General admission tickets cost $40 via wantickets.com. Fresh from delivering the keynote address to this year's graduates of the WMC industry crash course, Paul Van Dyk will practice what he preaches — pure party science — at Mansion. Go learn something.
Questlove. With Yameen Allworld, presented by Giant Step. 10 p.m. Saturday, March 12, at the Florida Room at the Delano, 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-6152; delano-hotel.com. Free with RSVP to giantstep.net/questlove. Ages 21 and up. Officially, you won't be able get into this WMC event hosted by Roots mastermind and general musical genius Questlove. The guest list is closed. But if you're really, really, really desperate for a lock of Questo's famous 'fro, you could always lurk around outside the Florida Room and try to hustle your way past its notoriously militant bouncers. Good luck, though.
Moodswing (360). With Chachi, Clinton Sparks, PS1, DJ Enferno, DJ Riz, and LMFAO's Sky Blu. 11 p.m. Saturday, March 12, at Louis, 2325 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-4600; louismiami.com. Tickets cost $20 via wantickets.com. Age 21 and up. Hey, wake up. We know you're tired. But there's less than a day left until WMC 2011 disappears forever into the murk of your memory. So quick, reset your brain and get that adrenaline pumping, 'cause Chachi, Clinton Sparks, PS1, DJ Enferno, and DJ Riz want to party with you. Not to mention, LMFAO's Sky Blu is here too. He's screaming, "I'm in Miami, bitch!" And like us, he's not sleeping till next week.