Music News

Ten Essentials for a Heavy Metal Cruise

Page 2 of 3

10. Sunscreen

This one is glaringly obvious, but skin cancer is the least metal way to die. Also, sunburns are for amateurs, and you probably paid money for those tattoos, why not protect them?

9. Prophylactics

Another obvious choice, but let's be real: You probably don't even know what state he or she is from, and it's going to be really rough explaining to your future offspring that they were conceived in international waters between Napalm Death and Mayhem's sets. Also, the clap.

8. Probiotics

Diarrhea at sea ain't no joke, especially when you've dropped major coin to party with your favorite bands! So sidestep the cruise grub plague with a bit of precaution. Also, what could possibly more metal than pills that are actually teeming with (healthy) bacteria? Nothing.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
David Von Bader