Halloween has approached Christmas territory in the obnoxious early hype it receives. Does Walgreens really need to start displaying the plastic jack-o'-lanterns while it's still September?
Though a fabulous, memorable Halloween costume usually requires ample time for preparation, this is the last minute. So, here are some musical costume ideas you might consider running around town prepping for. They are separated by sex, but since any place liberal enough to celebrate Halloween, gender bend all you want. Feel free to get freaky the one day of the year it is universally accepted.
For the Fellas...
10. Robin Thicke
This is an easy one. Hopefully, you haven't shaven in a couple days. Find some sunglasses and a matching suit, no tie. The key here is getting online and purchasing a Hannah Montana doll. Undress her to the skivvies, and attach her to your crotch and you'll be the talk of Instagram.
9. Daft Punk robots
You might need to borrow wardrobe from your suave cousin, and while you're at it spray paint his motorcycle helmet gold and silver. As an added bonus, you get to spend the night walking around with a French accent.
8. Tupac
Here are two variations depending on where you stand on the "Tupac faked his death" conspiracy. On the one hand, there's Zombie Tupac. Get creative and gory with how a flesh-eating 17-year old corpse would appear. Or you can go with how a 42-year-old pot bellied, on the DL, Shakur. (Editor's note: RIP. Love you Pac!)
7. Justin Bieber
Take your shirt off, and put on a bunch of temporary tattoos. This costume gives you license to act as bratty as you like just make sure your costume includes bruising security guards.
6. Snoop Lion/Snoopzilla/Snoop Dogg
You heard rapper Snoop Dogg became Rastafarian and changed his name to Snoop Lion, right? Now he's all funked out and called Snoopzilla, motherfunkers. Here's your chance to imagine Charlie Brown's comic strip beagle as a lion or part lizard monster.
For The Ladies
5. The Wrecking Ball
Dress yourself up in a black papier mache wrecking ball, attach naked Hannah Montana doll to you and voila. Or, if you don't feel like standing out, you can be the umpteenth Miley Cyrus twerking around town.
4. Sinead O'Connor
The really committed will shave their heads, but the less involved can easily put on a prosthetic scalp. Bring pen and paper so you can write letters of outrage to all the ladies at the party who dressed as slutty nurses and cops.
3. Gloria Estefan (circa 1986)
Get your perm ready and study that "Conga" video, South Florida's thrift shops are filled with eighties wardrobe that was worn by Ms. Estefan and her fans.
2. North West
Yes, kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child is off limits to paparazzi, but not to civilians dressing up for Halloween. Give yourself Kanye's face and Kim's booty or Kim's face and Kanye's wardrobe. North West can be 2013's version of a Liger.
1. Zombie Whitney Houston
Is it too soon? Ok then, zombie Amy Winehouse. She must be past the mock the dead statute of limitations.
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