Look, dude. If you wanna show up to the second edition of the Snooze Theatre's Magical Snoozie Mix Exchange with, like, a list (on your smartphone) of good blogs for downloading chillwave, that's your prerogative.
But everyone knows the unofficial award for Dankest Mix will go to the compiler with an ear for track-list progression, a deep record library filled with secret treasures, and, of course, a dynamite concept/theme behind the song selection.
That last part is often the hardest. So if you're sitting at home, furiously clicking through your iTunes trying to figure out which version of "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" to include (the answer is Guns 'N Roses, Live in Tokyo, 1992) before tonight's exchange, take a look at our crib sheet after the jump.
10. Mixtape for Your Crush
This is the most common mix motivation of the lot. You want to load this thing up with sentimental ditties, coy, suggestive lyrics, and, duh, "Unchained Melody."
9. Mixtape for Your Road Trip
The open road calls for classic rock and dat interstate kush.
8. Mixtape for Dosing
Speaking of kush, how about a mix for getting faded, tripping balls, and generally getting fucked the fuck up? Dub the Easy Rider soundtrack for the come-up, some Tangerine Dream for when you're feeling it, mmmaaaannnn, and a lil' Nick Drake for reassembling your reality.
7. Mixtape for Cleaning
All right, your apartment looks like a Ralph Steadman cartoon of Hunter S. Thompson's party garbage. Maybe that drug tape was a little too heady? Splash your face with water, pop some speed, slap on your personally curated Frankie Knuckles Greatest Hits compilation and your crib will be teeth-grindingly clean in no time.
6. Mixtape for Cooking
You haven't eaten for days because all you do at this point is take drugs and make mixtapes. Get your appetite going with some jazz or even a lil' outlaw country. You need kitchen music, and this gravy isn't going to stir itself!
5. Mixtape for Your Party
Nasty-as-it-wants-to-be hip-hop, panty-droppin' slow jams, and Taylor Swift dubstep remixes are essential to any/every social gathering.
4. Mixtape to #Occupy Wall Street
Public Enemy! Phil Ochs! Propagandhi! There's a pretty long history of musical protest to draw from when compiling the ultimate soundtrack to "occupying" the closest municipal parking lot to your rinky-dink town's City Hall, chanting snappy mantras, and getting your ass beat by the cops.
3. Mixtape to Separate the Norms and the True Freax
A crappily dubbed cassette featuring fart sounds, emergency broadcast warnings, hardcore bands fronted by porcupines, and field recordings of dead people is the ultimate poser test. It's time to draw a line in the sand.
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2. Mixtape a Newborn's Briss
We hear rabbis prefer listening to Kreayshawn when trying to keep their snip-snips precise.
1. Mixtape for Getting Down
Which brings us full circle, and then some.
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Magical Snoozie Mix Exchange Numero Dos. 9 p.m. Monday, November 14, at Snooze Theatre, 798 Tenth St., Lake Park. No cover. Click here.