The Hard Rock crowd isn't all swamp-loving, Hawaiian shirt-wearing gamblers or fans of the Improv too wasted to drive home. Nope. There's a slew of sorts of people to party with out at this Hollywood casino. And the best folks to get down with, you'll likely find at the aptly titled concert venue, Hard Rock Live. It's there that comedians like Bill Maher and musical legends like Willie Nelson bring out the greatest and the weirdest South Florida has to offer.
With this list, we attempt to define the ten people you'll party with at Hard Rock Live in Hollywood.
10. The High Rollers
How to spot them: They have a crazy look in their eye and are compulsively shuffling cards.
Of course, Hard Rock is a casino, so the high stakes games lure players in, morning, noon, and night. Those willing to invest lotsa cash to tempt Lady Luck are looked on with special favor. Not only do they have the privilege of lounging their very own private lounge and dining buffet prior to shows, but they also get priority seating. That said, you can't blame those of us in upper levels for being a bit jealous of their ease with risk-taking and view of Lionel Richie's nose hair.
9. The Retro Rockers
How to spot them: Dyed black locks, tanned flesh, and leather something on their bod. These oldies but goodies always are the happiest in the lot.
It would be politically incorrect and not very nice to refer to this bunch as "the geriatric set" simply because they qualify for AARP membership. Most of these folks were rabid rock 'n' rollers way back in the day, and the fact that their enthusiasm hasn't waned is admirable. By day, they may be doctors, lawyers, or bankers, but when they don their favorite band's tees -- sometimes several sizes too small -- and flail away on that air guitar, it's clear, they know how to rock.
8. The Youngsters
How to spot them: They're usually in couples, looking around nervously, and wearing thick-rimmed glasses.
Because Hard Rock tends to offer shows of classic artists, it's rare to find a lot of younger people in the audience. But when we do, it's a welcome sign. It's nice to know the older music is still appreciated by a newer generation. Just one favor though, please don't address me as "sir."
7. The Dancers
How to spot them: Their ass is in your face.
Dancing is a natural inclination, and we can't fault anyone for doing a little twerk to "Love Gun." Usually though, the dancers are simply waving their arms in the air like they just don't care to like Dolly Parton.
6. The Shouters
How to spot them: Their voice is louder than Tommy Lee's drums.
Oh, shouters. If you're at a Lynyrd Skynyrd show, it's inevitable they're going to play "Freebird." Aretha's gonna do "Respect," and Chicago will almost certainly play "Saturday in the Park." See what we're getting at it? The set lists are decided in advance, and your admonishments do not affect what they're gonna play next. Shouts are totally great if they're of the "take your shirt off" and "I love you" sort though.
5. The Restless Wanderers
How to spot them: They're saying, "excuse me."
These are usually folks who didn't want to wait the line for their Bacardi and Coke, so they waited till the show started. Or they're the wasted lady in stilettos making eyes at Bret Michaels, crushing your toes on the way to the John.
4. The Backstage Bunch
How to spot them: They have a self-satisfied look on their mugs. Maybe you went to school with the sax player. Maybe Brian Wilson is your long lost granddaddy. You're backstage, and we're jealous.
3. The Hipsters
How to spot them: Their jeans don't allow for full abdominal extension. They abhor and embrace irony simultaneously. They are (hopefully) 23.
These young "hip" sorts will make their way as far West as the Hard Rock for acts like Mayer Hawthorne, the Doobie Brothers, and Dolly Parton. They will watch without moving, arms uncrossing only to take the occasional Instagram pic.
2. The Unawares
How to spot them: They appear confused.
These people are always asking: "What's the name of that song?" Be a good neighbor and prep your ignorant pal on the way to the gig with a little pre-show mix tape.
1. The Over-Zealous
How to spot them: They look like Gene Simmons in costume.
These folks are the salt of the Earth; they are the party-starters; they are our friends.
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