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Ten Signs You’ve Been in Fort Lauderdale Too Long

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5. You know ancient Sawgrass Mall terminology.
You tell your friends to meet you at the Blue Dolphin or Yellow Toucan entrance, and then your alter ego takes over once you walk through the doors. You've perfected the ability to completely ignore the poor kiosk associates when they walk directly in front of you asking you to "try something," and you speak fluent retail Spanish.

4. Your name is scrawled inside the bathroom stall at Fat Cats.
You regularly stumble upon free drink tokens from Tarpon Bend and Lucky’s in your purse, laundry, and center console, and plastic souvenir cups from Quarterdeck and Fat Tuesday take up a large portion of your kitchen cabinet space.

3. Every social interaction comes with the very real threat of running into an ex-hookup.
Downtown is a minefield for possibly traumatic run-ins with every beer-goggle-driven regret you've experienced in your wild years. Your high school love currently works behind the bar at Blondies and you relish the fact that he just gets more and more leathery every passing year.

2. Your biggest accomplishment last week was getting a parking spot on Las Olas.
Even though you own a Camry, you got out of your car like it was a Lamborgini because everyone knows that if you're the kind of person who parks on the street on Las Olas, you're obviously a big deal.
1. You burned yourself out of the WAKA kickball circuit.
If you had a dollar for every cut-sleeve kickball.com T-shirt sitting in your dresser, you'd be able to buy yourself a plane ticket out of this town .
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