7. Superstar: Justin Bieber
Stocking Stuffer: Domesticated rodent to love/hold/squeeze
Biebz lost major points with the Occupy Tofu contingent when he threw his pet hamster into the air like Marino ripping a Hail Mary. Maybe he can regain the favor of North America's hamster hippie demographic with a new pet rodent that he doesn't haphazardly thrust into the suffocating clutches of certain doom.
6. Superstar: PSY
Stocking Stuffer: Tap shoes
If the shoe fits, maybe it'll extend the relevancy of your meme. And then everyone's mind can get blown, deflated, and reblown when MC Hammer runs out to bust a move that exists somewhere in the anti-matter astral plane between the core essence of "Gangnam Style" and "Hammer Time." And he is also wearing tap shoes.
5. Superstar: Gotye
Stocking Stuffer: Elliott Smith's Figure 8 album
Yo, for real, did Gotye take out Elliott Smith so he could rip him off without fear of legal reprisal? God dammit someone get Morgan Freeman on this shit.
4. Superstar: Ke$ha
Stocking Stuffer: Nina Simone Sings the Blues
Because Ke$ha has probably never heard Nina Simone.